Ahhhh....COME ON!!!

I am so tired of having to give up things because I don't fit the mold!

I can't wear the cute summer long dresses because I am not tall and skinny!
Really!
people need to realize that short AND short and dumpy just don't look right in these cute fashions....

I also dream of having the cute short and straight hair styles!! I LOVE THEM!!!....I love the punk!!

But my hair will NEVER BE.....

no matter how much product or chemical......sigh....

I can give up hair and fashion....I did...

BUT A LAWNMOWER...

COME ON!!!

I was so excited to give up the noise of a lawnmower!! give up the dust, blowing of the grass....

we bought the coolest mower....

tried it...

We all fought over using it! So easy to push....It glided over the yard.... It made a calming noise....we could hear the birds chirping AND cut the grass.....well SOME of the grass....

Apparently, you can only use the COOL classic reel mower if you have a nice lawn.....

YES, my lawn is like ME.....patchy and weedy....

This mower cut the real grass but ran over the weeds or strange grass and they would just pop back up....uncut......

GROAN.....sigh.......

All four of us were so frustrated.....we loaded up the golden and worshiped classic reel mower and returned it ......

Now we own.....

Well, it is short, dumpy...frizzy....but it is reliable...is committed... it will do its job every time and will last a long time......but it is loud, grouchy and kicks up dirt! (but we did get the bag/mulcher) 

A use for kids....

Why do we have kids?
babies stink, cry, are heavy sacks of mush that are dependent on you for everything.....

I quickly figured this out! I taught mine to use baby signs because I did not tolerate whining or caveman talk!
They were also potty trained before they were two because I refused to do for another human what I am not really interested in doing for myself!!
My sons were also feeding themselves and drinking out of cups before they were one because making and cleaning bottles was just plain ridiculous (and NO...I did not do the other!!)
My boys have been doing laundry and dishes since they were 3 or 4 because we have never owned a dishwasher (they are the dishwasher) and WHY NOT....kids need to do chores!!

However, even after having such independent kids.....I sometimes wonder.... WHY the trouble....I still have to teach the appropriate ways to do all these things and fuss because it is not being done MY way....

I knew having kids would pay off one day!!

MY DAY IS HERE!!!

Jack: "mom, can I walk to Target and buy some stuff?"

pause....my first response to anything is NO....however...even though I am on my death bed with a cold or sinus funk....(I swear that is how I will die! I birthed 2 big babies w/o an epidural and I weather migraines but I cannot stand head congestion and a sore throat)....
I think....

Me: "sure"

Jack: SHOCKED "seriously???...I thought you would say no...I don't know...maybe I shouldn't...."

Me: "yes, you should. Here is the money. If you steal something, I am letting them take you to jail for 2 nights."

Jack rolls his eyes....


They aren't gone long.........I plan on taking their picture but they are back before I know it!! I try to get them to go back down the street to recreate the scene but that is definitely a NO GO!!!

I got this picture.

They then tell me about getting the best prices and Jack buying each of them an Icee with his own money.

Me: "that is great!".....I said...maybe a little too excited...

Jack: "you're gonna make me do grocery runs this summer, aren't you...?..."

Me: "yep!.......but maybe I will pay for the Icee....."

they smile.....

God, a gorilla and drugs......

How can growing closer to God, a gorilla suit, and a migraine have so much in common???

ONE WONDERFUL WEEKEND AT VICTORY RANCH!!

The men were kept busy all weekend in a shootout!! We never heard them but probably because we were much louder than any of their guns!!

(no! this isn't me...but I won't tell WHO it is...she told me not to post it...oops...)

We had to race to get the best bunk....my friend got the bottom bunk because of her "special" Peter Pan moves.....

That is fine! I don't mind having the top bunk. That way, I can FEEL when someone is trying to DO SOMETHING to me!!........like this poor lady.....someone came back to her room to find someTHING in her bed!!

This gorilla had been "terrorizing" the camp earlier in the evening....

Well, Sunday morning rolls around and I woke with sinus pressure and a migraine. Soon the migraine turned horrible. My friend asked me what I needed. I quietly said "pain killers....I need pain killers"

NARCOTICS!!!!! WE NEED NARCOTICS!!!! She started yelling for drugs all through the cabin! Even though I felt so horrible I started laughing!! Here we were at a church retreat and my friend was yelling for narcotics.

At first, a few ladies offered Bayer, Tylenol....."no, those won't do"

My friend: "PAIN KILLERS, ANYONE?"

She came back with offers of Vicodin, Loritab, Percocet.....my friends!! Funny how the secrets can come out!! HA HA HA!!!

Within 2 hours (the last 2 hours of the weekend) I was able to move about.....wobbly...but moving... 

It has been a couple of days and I am still soooo tired.....they about killed me this weekend but I would do it again!! I love the women at my church, the gorilla, the airhorn, the laughing, the... ahem...I'll stop there.....

.......learned a lot spiritually too...of course....but I will put that in a more appropriate blog post??? 

There is something on your face...

I would like to share a picture I have taken recently....

I have a niece that is a very talented pianist!!

I can say that and you as a reader will not EVER know the meaning of these words......you WILL one day when you read about her scientific discoveries and then the most popular reporter of that day goes to her mansion overlooking a ranch filled with horses to interview her and they ask her to sit down at her gorgeous piano and "share a little of her hobby" and then the world will weep as we hear her play the most beautiful piano music you have ever heard......

ANYWAY....right now....she is 14 years old....I snuck in the sanctuary the other day while she was practicing........I waited...she finished her song. I fist pumped the air and hooted like I was at a football game. I am sure she rolled her eyes...I couldn't see....

I walked closer to her and requested that she play Rachmaninoff. I sat down in the pew and my eyes began to water. It was beautiful. She was beautiful.......then I really looked at her....

What the????

What was hanging off her mouth??

She finished playing and I approached her....what do you say to a 14 year old girl? I knew better than to say "what is on your face?"

As I got closer......I realized...

It was her saxophone reed!! She was multi-tasking!! Concert band was next and she was soaking her reed!!

YES!! She is a very talented saxophone player and singer as well!!

Thanks to my hair, I could handle it!!

God doesn't give us more than we can handle.....

It is SO TRUE!!

If it wasn't for my hair....I might not have survived high school!!!

When I was 14, my dad's company transferred/moved us from Chattanooga to Memphis.


I was awkward, short, quiet, grumpy and the boys in school had more curves than I did!!
I had NOTHING in common with ANYONE (or so I believed).....
I went to church with all the private school kids and I went to school with all the Baptists.
I was not athletic. I did not have above normal knowledge. I was not theatrical. I was not artistic. I was not a punk. I was not an addict. I was not a smoker. I did not grow up with any of the groups. I was not blond, tall, tan, rich, cheerleader........

I had one thing going for me. It was the end of the 80s. God had given me naturally 80s hair....

One of my friends posted this on facebook. ME, 14...."happy"on the bus.....not sure what happened to my friend after she took the picture!!......a slap maybe?

Even though I hated my hair then...as I do now....I never had to do a thing to it....it frizzed and stood up all on its own....I would watch other girls "tease", spray, roll, ....I washed and went to school....

By the way, I do have on blue eye shadow.....stupid teen trying to fit in.....yes....tried makeup...doesn't work on me!

I get to keep my ruby (blue) slippers (fake crocs)!

It came down my street but nothing landed on me and not one little obnoxious girl broke out in song or stole my shoes!!

aren't they the ugliest fake crocs you've ever seen?

(I'm glad I was not seriously injured AND found wearing THESE)

Today, we had 70 mph winds blow down our street!! I had my face plastered to our front window.
(I LOVE storms). The windows did a weird, suction action...the cars on our busy street came to a complete stop....garbage, limbs, rain and visible wind blew...NO floated almost in slow motion...sideways...past my house!! It was awesome!!

We have some minor clean up but my neighbors were not so lucky!!

I moved this limb from behind my car so that I could go take pictures of damage...

I just hope I don't get a ticket in the mail with a picture of me taking this picture while driving through the intersection.....

A ladder truck followed me around my neighborhood.....not sure if they were looking for damage, lost on a call or what....but we waved at each other........ twice. I thought about taking their picture and then thought about my young macho cousin....he is a fireman in Miami...I thought about what he might say about a crazy old lady taking pictures of him on a ladder truck.....so I didn't take the picture........

Now I wished I had.........dern..........

do the Hokey Pokey

Life feels like the Hokey Pokey....
You put your right hand in....take it out
left hand..
foot
butt

Then you have to turn around....clap, clap, clap

That's what it's all about.....

about WHAT???
work, money, school, knowledge, success (what kind?), friends, status, family, house, car, health,

The list could go on and on and on......

I went to a dinner at my church tonight. It spotlighted the specific areas and ministries that the church has planted, spearheaded, funded, etc...

Our speaker shared a story and I am sending you to this true story!!

First, let me say....I HATE clicking on links and reading or watching things on the internet...but I am begging my readers to read this story......because if you wonder what God wants us to be as christians.....

That's What It's All About!!!

(the football article)