When Max chose art as his elective this year, I thought it would be easy! Jeff is an artist!!
I soon realized that I would be the art teacher, not Jeff.....his work takes him away from home...
sigh...another challenge. I am not an artist, never studied art, and only visit museums because of Jeff.
I approach everything from academics.
My plan was to have one project a month that would highlight one artist and then the student could identify which art elements were "highlighted" by that artist and project.
I quickly found that most art lessons were "crafty" and hardly any of them taught history or taught about an artist.
I spent some time and wrote my own lesson plans.
I finally found a couple of wonderful websites for resources!
Max just finished his first project. I thought he did a pretty good job.
We took our first lesson from Deep Space Sparkle.
After Max researched Pablo Picasso, he wrote a paragraph that answered my requirements about this artist.
Then, he did the lesson in the above link creating his own "Dora Maar" painting.
Now for grading....I remember walking around the art area at Memphis State with Jeff and thinking...
"what is this crap?"
"how could a teacher grade this?"
Well, now I am on the other end because my baby painted this! It is a masterpiece OF COURSE!!
Last night, Jeff and I were in Target...we rounded the corner and there was a dad pushing a baby in the cart.
Jeff and I both drew in a breath....waited til the dad and baby were a couple of aisles away and then I said "ewwww" and Jeff said " yeah!" and I said "that baby was ugly!"
You know those parents think that baby is cute! There was nothing wrong with the baby. It was just plain ugly!
So, I have to grade Max's perfect artwork purely on:
if he followed directions, technique, and turning it in on time....
In the early 90s, I went to California with my parents.
Since I am almost 38 years old (October 13th...I will accept presents!), my memories are running together...so I hope all this was one trip because I remember it that way....
I often name THIS trip when asked "what is your favorite vacation"...you know... in ice-breakers and such..
My parents and I hiked through deep sand, sand dunes and tall grass to look at elephant-walrus-beasts. I am not sure which California town this was. First, I thought we were going to die because the three of us were out of shape, it was the longest hike EVER and there was no civilization or people! Second, the entire time we heard huge lion-dinosaur beasts growling about 2 feet in front of us but we could never seem to reach them.....
It was hilarious!.....but you really just had to experience it with us!
BUT MY FAVORITE was when we walked across the border to Tijuana, Mexico!
Go ahead and follow the link and just skim through how "safe" it is to wander around over there!!
My dad is very cautious! "SAFETY FIRST" man! and he has taught his 3 girls to be the same way!
So you can imagine that when a man walked up to us and offered to take us around in his car to see the "back roads and beautiful sights of Tijuana" mom and I were backing away! NO! We knew better! We were not getting kidnapped......
Dad said "ok!"
The 3 of us got in this guy's car.
(my dad, me, our driver, mom didn't make it back)
Just kidding! We had the best tour! He showed us beautiful historical churches, where they had bull fights, old homes, gorgeous views..
(one place, he had dad get out of the car and mom and I sat in the car laughing that he was gonna push dad off the mountain and kidnap us...instead of getting out of the car to make sure he did not kill dad...but that is our humor!!)...
The man shared stories and history (whether it was true or not) that we would not have gotten from a taxi or a kidnapper! HA!!
He told us not to eat the food in the tourist area (pictured above) AND he told us the taxi drivers were dangerous!
It was the best day ever!....after the guy left, I bought a handwoven blanket that said "mexico" so I could remember our "dangerous" adventure!
When we got back to Memphis, I washed the blanket and found the tag..."made in China"....
We lost a member of the family on Sunday...and it was my fault!
Jack:
"mom, will you trim my hair?"
Me:
"Ok,....I don't know....sure....are you sure?"
Jack:
"just a little bit, like it was last summer..."
I start cutting.....I don't let him look in the mirror.....
oops.......oh, no!
Me:
"Jack, it is too short!....It looks horrible!"
Jack:
"let me see!"
Me:
"no! let me fix it..."
snip...snip...snip..."crap"
Jack looks in mirror, laughs......mom, that IS short...it's ok....
I start crying. He has the BEST attitude.
A 14 yr old girl would be in hysterics right now!!
He is trying to comfort me which makes it worse.
I tell him he can play video games as much as he wants the rest of his life!!
He showers....I look at it washed....NOPE!!
Me:
"Jack, you look horrible! you look like a girl or a PDS kid." (an all boys school here..they all wear their hair the same and they are young...he is too old to look like that)
I call my mom, crying. I ask her to take him to get it cut by a professional to FIX it....(I am not going..I would be embarrassed for the professional to see the mother that did this to her teenage son).
MORAL OF THE STORY:
You can cut coupons, you can cut your budget....you can cut your own hair!!
Don't cut your 14 year old son's hair that he has been growing for over a year!
Here is Jack with the professional haircut!
(no pics of what I did!)
I'm getting older and starting to tell the same stories....so if you have heard this one...you can skip to the next chapter!
When I was about 3 years old, I got so angry I jumped off this lady's stairs and INTO her Christmas tree!
My kids love this story because I am a strict mother and I would have spanked them "up one leg and back down the other" if they had ever done anything like that!!
The story?
It is simple. The lady gave my two sisters clown dolls that she made and gave me a butterfly necklace....
This was not acceptable.
She had stairs with a landing. I flung myself off the landing and into her Christmas tree.
(not quite like this....but close...no star...and not happy)
That is all I remember. I have no idea if I was punished when my mother came to pick us up. I know my sisters were there. I remember a shocked look on my oldest sister's face.
I was recently reminded of this because I have always had anger issues. Anger rises in me with a boiling feeling that starts in the pit of my stomach.
Sometimes, I have much to regret.
Sometimes, I find myself funny...
Most of the time, I find the anger of others funny...
Yesterday, I witnessed the anger of an individual....I will admit that he was an individual with special needs. I have worked with the special needs population most of my life. WHO he is did not have anything to do with his circumstance. It only altered the situation because he handled it openly, in public, for everyone to hear....
I laughed. It was funny! I was sure that we have all been in his situation: mad at our job, frustrated, angry. Most of us would have had the conversation in our heads! I have not been diagnosed with special needs BUT I tend to handle it in the open like this young man....
Young man gathering the grocery carts. He walks away to get more. The carts begin to roll.
"Stay."
He walks away to gather more carts and stack them together. They are crooked and won't line up.
"Stop it!"
He tries to readjust the carts. He becomes frustrated. He shakes the carts back and forth.
"You're ruining my life!"
He walks away and then quickly turns to face the carts....he lowers his voice and glares at the carts..
"Stop telling lies about me!"
Now before you all think I am horrible for finding this humorous, I will explain again...
I felt the need to "jump into the Christmas tree"!!
I was sitting in the car with my window rolled down and I wanted to say "I know! They do tell lies!"....but I don't like it when people get involved in my anger issues....he didn't look like he wanted visitors in his!
well, either certain family was tired of reading about how to dry clothes....OR...
they were recently embarrassed by some inappropriate public scratching...
We were not getting used to the "sandpaper" feeling of the underwear!!
The parts were purchased and the dryer is fixed!
My THANKS! to the Old Goat (Jeff's dad). He was always fixing things while Jeff was growing up and Jeff was always watching!!
I have found this to be one of the most (and many) useful (and attractive) things about Jeff!! OF COURSE he is the best thing any girl could LOOK AT....but to be able to fix ANYTHING....that is HOT!
Jeff (middle goat) watched videos on the internet, took the dryer apart, put in the new parts, and put it back together....
The parts that caused so much trouble were not much bigger than quarters!
Dryer completely apart.....Jeff attaching new parts
Putting it all back together!
Back together...AND WORKING!
While Jeff is cleaning up his tools, I snap a pic of his lint head....Gives me an idea...If those weirdos can make money off of hair implants, hair remedies, and even spray paint for heads....I could sell my lint to people that won't embrace that BALD IS HANDSOME.....hmmmmmm...I wonder.....
Ok, another MAZ chapter is closed...for now...no more drying clothes stories.....
BUT you won't believe what I did to my 14 yr. old! I have been sworn to secrecy for now! Give me about a week....and then I will share!!
