DANGER: men at work

I have become a professional at analyzing the male gender.

Whatever a man found funny at age 14, he still finds funny at 53.
Group of men in a meeting.
One man makes a noise.
everyone starts giggling

Whatever a man wore at age 21, he is still trying to wear at age 62.
One man wore a suit from The 1960s.
One man wore a shirt so small,
he could only button the bottom 2 buttons.
His VERY hairy chest spilled out all over the worksite.

Whatever physical activities a man accomplished at age 18, he will still attempt at 30, 40, and 50.
"I tried to jump over that pile of shit and didn't clear it. I sprained my growth! It crazy hurts like fire!"

I'm guessing the pile was not literally poop...
And I'm NOT guessing what The "growth" is.

and my favorite

Junior high boys mercilessly tease and pick at each other
AND
When they are 40-87, they are still picking and teasing each other about the same stupid things.

I am thoroughly and continuosly entertained EVERYDAY.

blinds do not blind

As I stood in the front window of the office, across the street, and behind the blinds, I watched a man look all around him and then:

worked strenuously to get his underwear out of his butt crack

I am not sure that he succeeded because as he walked out from behind his car (assuming he was hidden) he kicked a leg out with every third step.

I ate my lunch and stared out the window at the beautiful day

 and the man's uncomfortable situation......

I made note to be careful! No picking...anything...

some bored weirdo is always watching

MAZ is listening

The following are snippets of conversations BETWEEN ADULTS that I am blessed to hear. I am not in the same room as the speakers, so I can only imagine what the heck is going on!!!

"....we were in the movie theater and she (his wife) got cold while nursing the baby. I took off my shirt and wrapped it around her."

Oh good gravy! With my luck, I will be behind the nursing mother, newborn and shirtless dad the next movie I see in the theater.

"....don't hand that to me with doo doo on it."


"I will hand it to you with doo doo on it."


"I will wipe the doo doo on YOU."




I turned and went the other way before coming into view. I did not care to witness the doo doo wiping.




"Look at this! Looky hur!  ( hee hee haw haw)
Idn't that thar the craziest hair you've ever seen?
Crazier than my mamma's backside!"


I admit that I was curious but disturbed about two men looking at a hair...
so I stayed away and wondered if his mamma's backside was hairy or just crazy shaped.








Some of you have asked if I miss teaching.


nope....I am in the same atmosphere

MAZ admits she is old, tired, but happy!

You ever feel like some craziness is running around you? and you might be in mild peril?

But you are just to tired to move?

Well at least watch the chaos...it can be quite entertaining!

People are the best entertainment

I used to be annoyed by people.  Over the past several years, I have started to see all people as God's creation. He designed each of us to be who we are....unique.

I try to be descreet in my favorite hobby:
Observing and listening
Analyzing people

Sometimes...though...
A person will loudly ask for attention...
And I must document!

Tenspeed triple speaker jambox

Keeping BIG things hidden

Over the years, I have experienced many stories that would make a great blog BUT a close friend or relative was involved so even if I changed names and places, it still would have offended somebody.

My boys provide me with material everyday but they are teens now....and respectful...therefore I will be respectful....

Now that I am working, I have GREAT stories to share...

But, again, you never know who reads this blog so I have to keep most of the funny stuff to myself.

I am about to explode with BIG, funny observations and stories...AHHHHHHH!

Since I am being nice to my peeps.....

I am left with telling you about a Target dressing room experience......

If you have followed my blog for more than two years, then you know that I lose AND FIND the same 40 pounds year after year after year.

This winter I found it.....and this spring/summer I will try to lose it........again!

I needed a new shirt a couple of weeks ago and decided to torture myself and try on clothes.

There is a size that I refuse to buy so I try on the biggest size that I can stand to take into the dressing room...

I am not great at estimation....hated "learning" the concept in school AND hate teaching it. Never have found a use for it.....until maybe this day..

I tried to put the shirt on normal...overhead, then arms through sleeves.

didn't work

I then tried raising my arms straight above my head and letting the shirt slide down my arms and onto my head...

didn't quite work...but after a snake dance...I got it on!!

I looked in the mirror and was horrified!

The cute shirt was stretched over a couple of swimming inner tubes. I apparently was unaware of acquiring them.

By this time I had worked up some humidity in the tiny dressing room.

My hair was frizzy and huge.

I was huge.

The shirt was small...

After weeping on the inside, I decide to NOT get the stupid ugly shirt that couldn't do it's job and keep big things hidden!!

I worked on getting that shirt off for about 20  minutes.

I was about to call for emergency assistance when....

the act of standing on my hands and head and kicking my feet in the air like a donkey...

released the shirt

I got some strange looks when I burst out of the fitting room....

hair wild, eyes wild, and jeans unzipped.....I would find that out after walking to the front and out into the parking lot...

Goodbye badger, Hello Wheezy!

For most of the cold season, I have a badger that follows me (when I wear my corduroys). I never see him, but I can always here him sneaking behind me. When I walk faster, I hear him moving faster and louder. When I slow down, he seems to keep in pace with my steps.

He is with me almost every year. Except for a couple of years when I wore smaller sized pants.
Funny, I don't know why he prefers to follow me when I am heavier.....


The cold season is ending (I put away my winter pants), and the warmer weather finds me walking for exercise.
Until I get into shape, I find it difficult to breathe and walk at the same time.

Badger must hibernate for the warmer weather......not sure where he goes....

I just know I don't hear him sneaking behind me much anymore.

BUT my friend Wheezy (from Toy Story) keeps me company during the warmer months!

I never see him either, but I can always hear him (wheezing). Especially when I really pick up my walking pace!

I have a few other friends that seem to follow me throughout the year.

I feel so blessed to have so many followers!

Heads Up!

Be careful when you see me walking around, you never know which friend is following!