wink...wink....

Parents and teachers, 

Are you letting your babies hold rattles and look at mobiles spin

 (letting them be babies? gasp!)

Start teaching them reading as soon as they can open their eyes

 (as seen on TV). 

Don't worry about socialization, gross motor or fine motor skills

....or even manners or behavior skills! 

Start teaching Algebra, Chinese and writing research papers in kindergarten!! 

There is no need to crawl.....

(that won't cause developmental or learning disabilities, if skipped)

....teach them to walk first!!

Our children need to be professionals........

don't even consider plumber, electrician, construction labor (are they really necessary?).

You would not want the chuckleheads that are pictured above running the world???

 would you???

Would you want your child...professional or vocational....to be creative? 

an independent thinker? 

NO! 

They might change the world......

MAZ teaches art?

When Max chose art as his elective this year, I thought it would be easy! Jeff is an artist!!

I soon realized that I would be the art teacher, not Jeff.....his work takes him away from home...

sigh...another challenge. I am not an artist, never studied art, and only visit museums because of Jeff.
I approach everything from academics.

My plan was to have one project a month that would highlight one artist and then the student could identify which art elements were "highlighted" by that artist and project.

I quickly found that most art lessons were "crafty" and hardly any of them taught history or taught about an artist.

I spent some time and wrote my own lesson plans.

I finally found a couple of wonderful websites for resources!

Max just finished his first project. I thought he did a pretty good job.

We took our first lesson from Deep Space Sparkle.
After Max researched Pablo Picasso, he wrote a paragraph that answered my requirements about this artist.
Then, he did the lesson in the above link creating his own "Dora Maar" painting.

Now for grading....I remember walking around the art area at Memphis State with Jeff and thinking...

"what is this crap?"

"how could a teacher grade this?"

Well, now I am on the other end because my baby painted this! It is a masterpiece OF COURSE!!

Last night, Jeff and I were in Target...we rounded the corner and there was a dad pushing a baby in the cart. 

Jeff and I both drew in a breath....waited til the dad and baby were a couple of aisles away and then I said "ewwww" and Jeff said " yeah!" and I said "that baby was ugly!"

You know those parents think that baby is cute! There was nothing wrong with the baby. It was just plain ugly!

So, I have to grade Max's perfect artwork purely on:

 if he followed directions, technique, and turning it in on time....

and if he bugged me or not....right?

It's ok...okay?.okay!..k?...k!..okay..ok...

Ok...okay!....okay?...ok...

wait for it....

Ok">
Ok

Jack is sick with the same symptoms Max had!!

yeah....

not much to say about that...

Just hope it doesn't go on for 4 months....

YES!
I called Lebonheur..
NO!
They don't seemed concerned...."if he is still sick next Monday, I am welcome to call to make an appointment."

I assumed as much because they didn't want to see Max if he got sick again.

Prayers are welcome....you may want to avoid any taxing or deep conversations with me....

seriously, it's okay! okay? ok...okay...okay...ok

Classic MAZ livin' on the edge...

In the early 90s, I went to California with my parents.

Since I am almost 38 years old (October 13th...I will accept presents!), my memories are running together...so I hope all this was one trip because I remember it that way....

I often name THIS trip when asked "what is your favorite vacation"...you know... in ice-breakers and such..

My parents and I hiked through deep sand, sand dunes and tall grass to look at elephant-walrus-beasts. I am not sure which California town this was. First, I thought we were going to die because the three of us were out of shape, it was the longest hike EVER and there was no civilization or people! Second, the entire time we heard huge lion-dinosaur beasts growling about 2 feet in front of us but we could never seem to reach them.....
It was hilarious!.....but you really just had to experience it with us!




BUT MY FAVORITE was when we walked across the border to Tijuana, Mexico!
Go ahead and follow the link and just skim through how "safe" it is to wander around over there!!

My dad is very cautious! "SAFETY FIRST" man! and he has taught his 3 girls to be the same way!

So you can imagine that when a man walked up to us and offered to take us around in his car to see the "back roads and beautiful sights of Tijuana" mom and I were backing away! NO! We knew better! We were not getting kidnapped......
Dad said "ok!"
 The 3 of us got in this guy's car.

(my dad, me, our driver, mom didn't make it back)

Just kidding! We had the best tour! He showed us beautiful historical churches, where they had bull fights, old homes, gorgeous views..

(one place, he had dad get out of the car and mom and I sat in the car laughing that he was gonna push dad off the mountain and kidnap us...instead of getting out of the car to make sure he did not kill dad...but that is our humor!!)...

The man shared stories and history (whether it was true or not) that we would not have gotten from a taxi or a kidnapper! HA!!

He told us not to eat the food in the tourist area (pictured above) AND he told us the taxi drivers were dangerous!

It was the best day ever!....after the guy left, I bought a handwoven blanket that said "mexico" so I could remember our "dangerous" adventure!

When we got back to Memphis, I washed the blanket and found the tag..."made in China"....

what the crap!

In Memory

We lost a member of the family on Sunday...and it was my fault!

Jack:
"mom, will you trim my hair?"
Me:
"Ok,....I don't know....sure....are you sure?"
Jack:
"just a little bit, like it was last summer..."

I start cutting.....I don't let him look in the mirror.....

oops.......oh, no!

Me:
"Jack, it is too short!....It looks horrible!"
Jack:
"let me see!"
Me:
"no! let me fix it..."

snip...snip...snip..."crap"

Jack looks in mirror, laughs......mom, that IS short...it's ok....

I start crying. He has the BEST attitude.
A 14 yr old girl would be in hysterics right now!!
He is trying to comfort me which makes it worse.
I tell him he can play video games as much as he wants the rest of his life!!

He showers....I look at it washed....NOPE!!

Me:
"Jack, you look horrible! you look like a girl or a PDS kid." (an all boys school here..they all wear their hair the same and they are young...he is too old to look like that)

I call my mom, crying. I ask her to take him to get it cut by a professional to FIX it....(I am not going..I would be embarrassed for the professional to see the mother that did this to her teenage son).

MORAL OF THE STORY:
You can cut coupons, you can cut your budget....you can cut your own hair!!
Don't cut your 14 year old son's hair that he has been growing for over a year!


Here is Jack with the professional haircut!
(no pics of what I did!)

Jumping into the Christmas tree....

I'm getting older and starting to tell the same stories....so if you have heard this one...you can skip to the next chapter!

When I was about 3 years old, I got so angry I jumped off this lady's stairs and INTO her Christmas tree!

My kids love this story because I am a strict mother and I would have spanked them "up one leg and back down the other" if they had ever done anything like that!!

The story?

It is simple. The lady gave my two sisters clown dolls that she made and gave me a butterfly necklace....

This was not acceptable.

She had stairs with a landing. I flung myself off the landing and into her Christmas tree.

(not quite like this....but close...no star...and not happy)

That is all I remember. I have no idea if I was punished when my mother came to pick us up. I know my sisters were there. I remember a shocked look on my oldest sister's face.

I was recently reminded of this because I have always had anger issues. Anger rises in me with a boiling feeling that starts in the pit of my stomach.

Sometimes, I have much to regret.
Sometimes, I find myself funny...

Most of the time, I find the anger of others funny...

Yesterday, I witnessed the anger of an individual....I will admit that he was an individual with special needs. I have worked with the special needs population most of my life. WHO he is did not have anything to do with his circumstance. It only altered the situation because he handled it openly, in public, for everyone to hear....

I laughed. It was funny! I was sure that we have all been in his situation: mad at our job, frustrated, angry. Most of us would have had the conversation in our heads! I have not been diagnosed with special needs BUT I tend to handle it in the open like this young man....

Young man gathering the grocery carts. He walks away to get more. The carts begin to roll.
"Stay."
He walks away to gather more carts and stack them together. They are crooked and won't line up.
"Stop it!"
He tries to readjust the carts. He becomes frustrated. He shakes the carts back and forth.
"You're ruining my life!"
He walks away and then quickly turns to face the carts....he lowers his voice and glares at the carts..
"Stop telling lies about me!"

Now before you all think I am horrible for finding this humorous, I will explain again...
I felt the need to "jump into the Christmas tree"!!


I was sitting in the car with my window rolled down and I wanted to say "I know! They do tell lies!"....but I don't like it when people get involved in my anger issues....he didn't look like he wanted visitors in his!

I felt his anger, I felt the frustration....

My THANKS! to the Old Goat...

well, either certain family was tired of reading about how to dry clothes....OR...

they were recently embarrassed by some inappropriate public scratching...

We were not getting used to the "sandpaper" feeling of the underwear!!

The parts were purchased and the dryer is fixed!

My THANKS! to the Old Goat (Jeff's dad). He was always fixing things while Jeff was growing up and Jeff was always watching!!

I have found this to be one of the most (and many) useful (and attractive) things about Jeff!! OF COURSE he is the best thing any girl could LOOK AT....but to be able to fix ANYTHING....that is HOT!


Jeff (middle goat) watched videos on the internet, took the dryer apart, put in the new parts, and put it back together....

The parts that caused so much trouble were not much bigger than quarters!

 Dryer completely apart.....Jeff attaching new parts

Putting it all back together!

 Back together...AND WORKING!

 While Jeff is cleaning up his tools, I snap a pic of his lint head....Gives me an idea...If those weirdos can make money off of hair implants, hair remedies, and even spray paint for heads....I could sell my lint to people that won't embrace that BALD IS HANDSOME.....hmmmmmm...I wonder.....

Ok, another MAZ chapter is closed...for now...no more drying clothes stories.....

BUT you won't believe what I did to my 14 yr. old! I have been sworn to secrecy for now! Give me about a week....and then I will share!! 

oscar MAZ grouch

Last night we had some wild wind and rain!

The storm was so loud it sounded like several fire hoses were aimed right at our house on full blast!

Usually during a storm like this I wake up full of worry....

*will it be the front or back tree that falls

*what is that noise....the leak in our room, the laundry room, the window leak...

I can't sleep for worrying about the financial damage the storm is causing!!

I love storms but over the years I have not been able to enjoy one of God's most fantastic entertainments!!

After this year's FREEDOM that I have experienced, I woke up about 2am this morning and I did not immediately stiffen with this gripping worry....

I was able to listen and enjoy the storm!

HOWEVER, my quirks kicked in...and I began to think about our garbage on the edge of the street....

During these types of storms, our street starts to resemble a small river....it was very windy....

I got up to....of all things....CHECK ON OUR GARBAGE!!!

I looked out of the window and...

My garbage instantly reassured me it had not blown over or down the street!

I got back in bed and Jeff asked sleepily, "what's wrong..."

As it came out of my mouth, I realized how stupid it sounded and I started laughing...

"I was just checking on our garbage....bwhahahahahhaha..."

Jeff didn't make a sound....guess he is used to me after all these years!

This morning....I looked out the window again before the city picked up the garbage and I swore I made a connection with my garbage can!!

my new obsession

What began as a minor inconvenience, then quickly was realized "no problem at all!"...has become my new fun obsession!

I wasn't going to tell anybody for fear that everyone would think I was strange...

...but then I remembered..."I AM CLASSIC MAZ"

I have blogged about diarrhea, sinus infections, visits to my obgyn, and every single flaw I have!!!

This is me in my new daily routine! I know! I look great in my new long legs and blond hair!!

OK, here it goes...my name is MAZ and:

I look forward to the washing machine finishing its job so that I can figure out the best and most efficient way to hang each article of clothing and each towel or linen...

Hanging each article, rotating them, figuring out the puzzle...I am trying to find the fastest way to get them to dry! It is exciting!

ALSO...

Our oven quit working in the spring...I have not found the joy of cooking quite so entertaining because I have always hated cooking! 

BUT I really have not missed my oven that much....because I am not a cook!

We have been able to fix our meals on the grill, in the crock pot, toaster oven and on the stove!!

I share these two "inconveniences"...not to say "whaa whaa, poor me!" but, to either encourage someone in my same situation...OR to alert others that we Americans really are spoiled!!

I recently made a WANT list and a NEED list....to get my priorities straight!! 

the dryer and the oven ended up on my WANT list and NOT at the top!!

Don't get me wrong! I'll be happy the day I get my oven, and dryer, and ....,....,.!!! BUT because of life choices WE made, we are not able to IMMEDIATELY get what we want....and I think that has stretched us (painfully at times) to be people we might not have become.....

damp, wrinkled, lightly toasted.....but happy!

CITY SERVE!

I am so excited about this year's City Serve.

Once a year, our church sets aside a weekend to volunteer at various ministries in our city. We have a dinner and speaker on Friday night, we serve on Saturday, and then "wrap it up" with our Sunday sermons.

This years speaker on Friday night is Brian Fikkert. He wrote When Helping Hurts. I really enjoyed reading this "uncomfortable" book. I urge you to read it and then you will understand why it made me uncomfortable! He makes some great points backed with great examples and lessons on how helping, volunteering and some ministries have ultimately hurt people when they were intended to help them!

Another great idea and practice of our church is:

*you don't "HELP" one weekend or holiday...out of the year..you do it year round!

Did you know that if you choose Jesus, you choose to serve?

(those are my words, not Fikkert...I'm done talking about him)

I think people miss that sometimes. Many people think "my spouse is a giver enough for both of us" or " we give financially, instead" or "I am too busy with the kids, work, school..."

The list could go on...

As christians, we are here for one reason....

It is VERY hard to live in this world: financially, medically, family obligations, etc

We weren't made to keep up with the world's demands. We were made to glorify God.

.......I know.....I am doing it again....serious, church chat....sheesh...don't know what to do with the MAZ!!

I have another blog about teaching and parenting. The last post is about teaching your kids to serve!

You might want to check it out!

Genuine, Lasting Change

MAZ gets serious...for a moment...

I was surprised at all the emails, messages, phone calls and comments after my post about the last visit to Max's doctor! I thought maybe everyone had "seen" enough of my posting about Max's illness so I tried to do a quick "wrap it up" post. I am afraid it was too vague!

Several of you were concerned that the doctor felt that there was not anything wrong with Max, that nothing could be done for Max, or some were just confused...

I understand! When I left the doctor, I was very emotional. I was tearful.

I am stressed, tired, confused....and as I said in the other post...uncomfortable!
I want a diagnosis, a name, some meds (for Max, not me....well?) and a time frame of when this will be over!

The doctor told us that if Max was a girl, it would be easy. He MIGHT be able to tell us that it MIGHT be Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. The symptoms might fit but it is common in girls and RARELY if EVER found in boys.

He also told us to look for a couple of other symptoms if Max gets ill again. I have not noticed the symptoms in previous "episodes", but I will look! If these symptoms show, then it could be several other things he mentioned. (the names are too big for me to remember or spell)

All the illnesses he mentioned are not serious but they are illnesses that would stay with the individual!

The doctor told us how to deal with an individual that has a reoccurring illness:
*don't stay up late
*don't sleep late
*don't pamper them
*make them go on with life as well as they can

I already do these things because I am high-strung and type A! He joked about this with me....I actually think he was making fun of me and I told him "to watch it!"

I want to share the following with my readers in case you are going through the same sort of trials....

God is not only allowing Max's illness this year, but he has allowed our family to be uncomfortable in many other ways. Nothing tragic or huge, but enough for us to know that WE are not in control and WE can not help ourselves. At first, I threw a pity party (and from time-to-time I still do) BUT I have seen a HUGE change in the lives of both of my boys. Jeff and I have TOGETHER given our concerns to God and as a family we pray TOGETHER for our needs!
I would not trade this year for anything!

The boys have learned by example what God has asked a working man to do, a husband to do, a father to do....(because Jeff puts God first!)

The boys have learned (by me saying Don't Do As I Do, Do As the Bible says) what a wife should do, a mother should do......because I act first and think later, then pray later...then have to go back and apologize and tell the kids what SHOULD have been done....they are getting used to me :/

Those of you that know me.....I don't like gettin' "all spiritual talk".....but I Need my Lord...I love my Lord.....

I have to give back "my control" to Him minute by minute!

Turtle necks, button downs, and pantyhose

Turtle necks, button down shirts and pantyhose/tights were the worst things I could think of wearing when I was younger.

IT ITCHES!!!

I would squirm and scratch and whine from toddler years through college years and even some of my adult days....

I have learned to wear these items and now, I even like to wear turtle necks.....they are comfortable ...

We all have our sensory issues and comfort zones...

This summer has been very uncomfortable for me and you may have witnessed me flouncing around screaming "it itches!!"......sorry ....and there may be more episodes...

Even though the trials of the summer have not been tragic, they have made me very uncomfortable and "itchy".....and no matter how hard I have tried...I have not been able to loosen the tight turtle neck, soften the stiff button down, or rip off the binding tights!! I must wear them. I must learn that either they will become comfortable or I will eventually be able to put my sweatpants and t-shirt on when the time is right!!

Side note......We had our last meeting (as far as we know) with the doctor at Lebonheur. 

Thankfully, all of the tests done on Max came back negative. The doctor advised us how to deal with individuals that have reoccurring illnesses. 

Thankfully, I am naturally this way (scheduled, not pampering, etc). He does not expect to need to see Max again. 

There is not a diagnosis. 

We look at this as a good thing, because that means he will get better and is probably already getting better! He feels fine now...thankfully!!

However, I like answers.....so this is one more thing I am learning to wear....

I am itchy.....

Please keep names and spirits in order....

Just a quick note:

last night, we were having a "family Bible time", devotion, resorting priorities, whatever you call it....


anyway, Max shared a story he "remembered"....however some facts and names became jumbled and this is how it was presented:

"you know, the story of the lady that did the black magic? Paul was mad because he couldn't kill Daniel so he hired the lady to raise Moses from the dead!!"

Jeff and I looked at each other. I was instantly intrigued! You know I love stories about black magic...raising of the dead....
Jeff began to try to sort out the story for Max, but Max became upset that he was being told that he was wrong.
Neither Jeff, nor I remembered any story like this in the Bible!!

Me: "where did you hear this?", instantly thinking some crazy toast taught him in Sunday School, of course!
Max: "you taught me last year! I read it for school!"

WHA?

I started googling "black magic/paul/moses on the computer..
Jeff started researching the Bible...

Jeff found the story...
It was SAUL mad because he could not kill DAVID. He hired a lady to do black magic and God allowed her to raise Samuel from the dead (because God is always in control!)

It is a great story and after reading it, I remembered it....

Jeff corrected the jumbled memories for Max and made sure he understood the story.
I praised Max for his memory and paying attention in school!! (when I clearly did not!)
Then I turned to Jack...

"Jack, why didn't you read this in school last year?"
Jack:
"I probably did! I just thought it was something I watched in Mulan! They raise spirits on that movie. That is a good movie....I enjoy it!"

Oh, good grief!! Jack and his spiritual recall......
"did I get that from the Bible or Mulan?"

Classic MAZ forgets her bubble suit

I don't see why people think Monk is weird. I feel his pain!

We spent 5 hours at Lebonheur (hospital) today.

I know...you all tuned in to read about Max and his medical update....I'll get to that....but I suffered a little today too....

I got up this morning and made hot sugar water (forgot to put the tea bags in the tea maker...ugggh!).
Headed to the appointment without caffeine and sweet tea (it is all I have left...I have given up all my other addictions....unless you have picked up on some others...keep it to yourself).

As I am signing in for the appointment, several other mothers arrive and grab masks out of a container...

hmmmmmm...ok, what do I do....this is obviously a choice....I would love a mask....is this only for certain patients...would it be rude or weird if I take 3 and Jeff, Max and I wear a mask? I secretly look around and only 3 out of about 15 kids are wearing masks...I figure it is because of their illness!

When I taught at a school with medically fragile kids, I did weird stuff all the time and they would just laugh at me "crazy Mrs. Z".....I felt I would not get the same loving affection here....

I am called back to sign some more papers. I start looking at all the files and papers laying on the desk while I am waiting......I realize all the diseases that are passing through this area.....

I go sit....I just took out my hand sanitizer when I switched purses!! shoot!! I also did not have toilet seat liners, my lysol spray, latex gloves.........

Then they called our name and I snapped out of it......my lamaze breathing would have to do....

Our appointment turned into a 5 hour appointment!
Loved everyone that worked with us! It just took that long because of thinking and conferring!
I have many things to say and report on....but ALAS....1/2 my readers have connections to these doctors and hospital...so I will keep it to myself.......harumph!


We still don't know anything....but they did more blood work and a chest xray.
They seem to be looking for illness/disease caused by ticks and then if all those come back negative, then they will start on viruses.

We go back next Thursday!

The doctor was impressed with my "nerdy" calendar that I created to track Max's sick and well days. He even made a copy!