"Im highlee qualifieyed & wood like to apple four a job..."

Once again, I am entertained by.......people.


Posting Your Resume:


*Do not misspell opportunity. You might miss out on a job oppertunty, or an opurtunety for a phone interview, or an oppirtoonity to verbally express your valuable skills (that should be good).

*Do not express being a "Centered" individual by

 CENTERING your entire resume!

The result is

 confusing information

in the pattern of

a Dr. Seuss Christmas tree.

*Do not list an objective "to MEAT goals"-

unless applying for Tyson, KFC, or Oscar Meyer...

*Do not send an inquiry email to a business with....and I quote "one of my question are.........and when where you gonna hire."

*Do not list that you worked at a job from 1/2003-13/20012.

I appreciate that some jobs seem to make the year longer, but you aren't going to fool me!

*Do not have your contact email 

 "rippedhotbod@hotmail".

I guess I misunderstood the experience title,  "service provider".

*Do not list "I have 28 years experience as an electrician."

Then, in Work Experience, list one job that only lasted 7 months....

THEN at the bottom of the resume in small font writes

"is electrician, but not licensed".

*Do not boast that you can type 30wpm. 

 Just don't mention you lack the skill of typing!

*Do not create unnecessary categories.

"Citizenship: American?"

Now I am wondering if you are legal......

*Do not do a phone interview (first verbal contact) on speakerphone so your wife can ask questions.

"How much will you pay him?"