disappointment is a never ending circle

I am my biggest disappointment. I guess it is like that with everyone. You can blame your husband, your boss, family or kids but YOU are only struggling with yourself. (or I am)

Things that disappoint me:

*eating....eat bad things, disappoint, eat to feel better, disappoint, eat more bad things

*being over weight...too disappointing to type!!

*money....too disappointing to talk about

*stress leading to frustration leading to anger leading to uncontrolled actions or emotions, disappoint

Webster's Dictionary defines disappoint "to fail to satisfy the hope or expectation of"

I am a christian. I have chosen to walk away from earthly things and focus on Jesus Christ.

I have hope and expectations for myself, but I will always disappoint!!

My Lord has expectations for me, a plan! He is my only hope (contrary to star wars...).

I made the decision to drop everything and follow Christ about 30 years ago. So why do I have these heavy chains wrapped around my feet and hands? Why do I drag bags of disappointment behind me?? Why do I choose to drown in this ocean of stress when freedom surrounds me???

I want that freedom. I get that freedom for a day, sometimes. Then, I look away from Christ and I am heavy...again....with disappointment.....

**this is just an outlet for me...not really a cry for help!! I have all the answers in my heart and sitting in front of me NOW (my Bible)....