Friday, December 25, 2009

I see dead people

Christmas Eve.


My dad has been admitted to the ER for an illness. Late that evening, they admit him to the hospital. A male nurse is taking us to the elevators that is just for patient transfers and staff. The hall is long and dark. The hospital is like a ghost town. The nurse pushes the button to go UP. We wait about a minute. The elevator doors open.


scene: a large elevator....a dead body covered in a red blanket......no one else.


nurse: "um.....is anyone on there?" He leans over to peer into the elevator. Mom and I lean over to peer into the elevator.


me: "is that what we think it is??"


dad: in a low growl.."I am not gettin on there with that!"

The doors close. The four of us look at each other wide-eyed. The nurse tells us to "stay put, he is going to get security".

My parents and I stand there in the dark, long, empty hall. Dad raises his eyebrows and rolls his eyes........................mom and I start laughing.

Another nurse comes around the corner with an empty wheel chair. She looks at us questioningly and asks, "um, are ya'll waiting on an elevator?" at the same time she pushes the UP button.

I tell the nurse what just happened. "WHAT??"


The door opens. Same elevator with the dead body.


Her eyes bug out. At that moment, the elevators across the hall open and two ladies in scrubs say "there she is!"....THEN another elevator opens and a security guard jumps off and runs over to the dead-body-elevator before the door closes again.


CHAOS....


The 2 ladies in scrubs are hooting and laughing and saying "we didn't lose her we were just sent to find her.......I'm not getting on the elevator with a dead body........I'm not getting on if you're not!!" They laugh and slap and stomp their feet.


Our original nurse looks disgusted by the lack of professionalism from the 2 ladies in scrubs. The 2nd nurse with the empty wheelchair yells "you should be more afraid of the live patients!" She is also clearly frustrated with the 2 ladies.


Me: "I am so thrilled! I have never seen a dead person!"


Mom: "yes you have! Grandee was dead at his funeral." (that quote is my favorite EVER)


Me: "I mean a body that hasn't been froofed for a funeral."


We soon find out that the undertaker..............oh wait! UNDERTAKER.....another hospital employee told us that he hates the undertakers because they look like reapers!! They come in with black hats and black long coats....


We soon find out that the undertaker was transporting the body (hence the red blanket and not a hospital sheet), put the body on the elevator, started talking, doors closed and elevator with body leaves....


Our nurse apologizes for the situation and said that he had to call the securtiy guard .....to fix the situation !


I told my dad, I am sorry you are sick but this was the best Christmas EVER!!


3 comments:

  1. Oh. My. Goodness. I am glad it was you people and not me!! But VERY exciting! :)

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  2. That was me, Julie Z.

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  3. Oh lovely! To think they loose dead ppl...

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