Chef Max!!

I have not cooked a meal this week!!

It has been so nice to have a personal chef all week.
He planned the meals.
He cooked the meals.
AND he cleaned up the kitchen after each meal!!
(Jack helped clean)



Meet Chef Max!
He loves to cook and create.

The first night we had Munch-A-Monster and Purple Cows. Max made pizza dough from scratch!

 (I have never done that!)

He created a "monster" for each of us!

This is my "monster" pizza and purple cow in our scary skull cup!

This is Jeff's "monster" pizza. The one on the right looks like "perry the platypus"!

The next night Max made Blood And Guts with fresh chopped onion and carrots.

I put toenail flakes on top of mine (parmesan cheese).

For dessert, we had dead hand with nerves and veins.

(frozen jello/twizzlers)

Max asked me to make him an apron. I had a hard time creating an apron (with felt) that didn't look girly!

I made it like a tool apron with fire and goo coming out of the pockets!

 The last night we had Axe Man's Fingers and Yetti Foot. Max invited my mom and dad to join us!

Axe Man's fingers

(hot dogs with radish for finger nails)

Yetti Foot

(mash potatoes, cheese....and Max added Rendezvous seasoning)

My dinner plate...

 Expect to see him on Food Network someday!!!

The food really was delicious! I have never really taught the boys to cook or anything...

(I can barely do it myself!)

Max did EVERYTHING on his own....and MUCH BETTER than I could ever do!!

I think I have my own personal chef!

WOO HOO!!

Many faces of MAZ

I had to take Jack back to the doctor today.
I REALLY did not want to take him.
I REALLY did not want to have to answer all the same questions.
I REALLY did not want to do what we already did with Max for four months.

But....because of his "hard to breathe" complaints....I did not want to let it go and it end up being pneumonia or something.

The room has a giant mirror on one wall. The doctor always knocks and opens the door slowly. This causes the doctor to look at our reflection in the mirror and us look at him through the mirror, when we greet him. All the doctors do it. It is strange and comical to me.

The doctor slowly opens the door with a polite smile on his face. Then he sees Jack in the mirror.
His face changes.
"Oh, Jack! You are still feeling bad?"

I am prepared to answer back all the "usual" with:
*no! you are wrong! there is no way that a kid with this illness could go to school or do regular activity!
*no! it is not a sinus infection that we should "wait another week"


BUT...the doctor popped my "frustration" bubble with

"WOW, he is so pale. He is definitely sick."
and then he sits in front of Jack with a worried/concerned look on his face....

I think we really need to do more tests to make sure it isn't......
....(list of things we ALREADY found Max did NOT have)

In his questioning and discussion, I was able to politely tell the doctor all that I was making Jack do while he feels bad and say..
"and there is no way that a kid with this illness could do regular activities and/or GO to school"

The doctor responded "ok...yea....no! I see that!"
"He needs to just be resting and staying hydrated...."

WHAT????

I felt my "angry me" taking over...
my hair began to rise...my eyes began to widen...
I think I might have even started to hover in mid air..

I was about to say "YOU TOLD ME TO MAKE HIM GO TO SCHOOL AND DO REGULAR ACTIVITIES EVEN WHEN I KNEW THAT HE COULDN'T AND IT WAS THE SAME THING MAX WENT THROUGH AND..."

Fortunately the doctor kept on talking about how sick Jack looked....things we needed to rule out EVEN THOUGH we ruled it out with Max...for safety with Jack, we needed to still test him.....

I slowly cooled back down.

We did the blood work.

We found that it is NOT anemia and next week the other test should also tell us what it is NOT......

I am fine if we never find what it is...as long as Jack gets well and they both never get it again!!

JUST DON'T TELL ME TO SEND THEM TO SCHOOL AND MAKE THEM DO REGULAR ACTIVITIES.....ever....... again...........ever!

Why do I teach my kids at home?

Why do I teach my kids at home?

I have NO idea.....can't really give a good reason.....

I just want to use my degree to teach them myself 

(and not make any money.....hmmmm, maybe I should rethink this...)

BUT because I do teach them at home, we have discovered MANY "pros"!!

When daddy is in town, he can take them camping DURING the week and not on a weekend with EVERYONE else!! 

(this trip was Jeff and Max one-on-one time) 

putting up the tent....on his own

made a fire...on his own

cooking breakfast he planned....on his own.....it is a poptart HA HA!!

excellent fun and adventures!

AND when that week's science project said "using cement and bait food, try to get impressions of animal tracks in your backyard (which will probably be raccoon, opossum, cat or dog...)

We can alter the project when....on the camping trip....

"natural bait food" is provided....

and you find

AWESOME bobcat tracks!!!

 AND....when you are in the back room..... sewing.....
thinking that they are working hard on their school work...

They are actually watching The Today Show, starring Martha Stewart and her "halloween ideas".
SOOOO, later they can "create" what they learned.... ON TV and not in their grammar book.

Martha's project: freezing water with food coloring in latex glove

There are many "cons" to teaching kids at home...

One is socialization, being around people that are NOT family!

We solved that!

Teach them to run FAST....and find friends anywhere.....like a corn field.....

That is normal...right?

*for you serious people....that is a friend in the above picture....

we don't really chase down strangers.....that is something a "homeschooler" would do!

MAZ thoughts on weddings

Last night, I watched Bridesmaids on Netflix.
I can not recommend this movie because it is laced with raunchy!
BUT I laughed so hard I quit breathing and was cry/laughing during one scene.

I had planned to tell you the "original reason for weddings".
I was under the impression that a long, long time ago....people were simple and practical and held wedding ceremonies before God, family and friends.

I thought I would find many resources to support my "thoughts" on this.
My thoughts:
People planned long ceremonies because friends and family traveled to the town, bringing practical and useful gifts to help the young couple start their lives together....
There was a ton of food (brought by others) to feed the friends and family....
Everyone came for a "barn raising" for the couple.

I had planned to write about the differences of THEN and NOW:

THEN people brought what was needed...new quilts, linens, kitchen supplies, etc.

NOW the couple tell people what to buy and where to buy it....and they are usually NOT practical...

THEN people ate "pot luck"...yummy food brought by everyone...

NOW the couple spends a load of money on fancy food and giant decorated cakes...

THEN people came to unite a young couple just starting their life together...

NOW....well frankly...most couples have already started a life together...they are just making it legal...

HOWEVER.....when I started "searching"...I could not find much to support my thoughts...

I DID find something interesting!

*Brides spend a fortune on a wedding cake BUT..

The origin of the tiered wedding cake also lies in Anglo-Saxon times. Guests would bring small cakes to the wedding and stack them on top of each other. Later, a clever French baker created a cake in the shape of the small cakes and covered it in frosting. It is now known as the tiered cake.

*Brides carefully choose their closest friends for bridesmaids BUT...

The bridal party is a tradition that has been established for many centuries. For a long time the purpose of the bridal party was to fool evil spirits. The bride's friends dressed similarly to her in order to confuse any virulent presences that might be lurking about.

SOOO, it wasn't quite and honor....more of a "hope evil gets YOU before ME (the bride)"

Read more: Wedding Lore and Traditions http://www.infoplease.com/spot/weddinglore1.html#ixzz1bMhAun96

Well, I will end with my original idea/thought that sparked this post...

If (as a bride) you feel the need to ask your parents to spend their hard earned money (or even spend your own) on less than 24 hours...

....you are planning what you think are fashionable dresses but will always end up looking ridiculous 

....you are planning an after celebration that is cheesy 

yes! no matter what you say...receptions end up cheesy parties 

(that is why most have alcohol..to get those like me through the event..and to give an excuse for the attention seekers)

....you have bought into the new fad of choreographed wedding party dances

I have finally found a wedding that I like!

The wedding at the end of the Bridesmaids movie!

*hideous fashion

*wedding party standing on flooring in a pool to look like they are standing on water

*laser light show in waterfall back drop

*obnoxious fireworks behind wedding party

*and the best of all.....

Wilson, Phillips singing a cheesy song!

Hey, if you are not going to do us all a favor and elope (with parental consent)...

You have got to make it worth ME putting on a dress!!

OH! and please order THIS kind of cake!!!

cakewrecks.com

Please remember this blog is sarcastic....don't send me any grumpy messages...or I will post why I hated your wedding! HA!!

A Time To Sew.......

I don't know what it is about this time of year, but I get the addiction of sewing.....from October to December!!

I sew "junk".....nothing worth selling or giving away.....AND most of the time, it isn't even something I would use!!

Now that I am living on the edge....using a sewing machine.....I am able to make MORE of the JUNK!!

Here are my latest creations for Halloween!

Our kitchen table.....

My chair........"the witch"

Our house ghost's chair.........."scary eyes"

Jack's chair..........."vampire bat"

(Jack picked colors and "bat")

Max's chair........."halloween owl"

(Max picked colors and "owl")

Jeff's chair.........."monster"

YIKES....now the dining area is "crafty" enough to be scary..................Happy Halloween!!

Celebration of life!!

I know! We all celebrate birthdays in the same way...right??

Touring the cemetery?....yes!...I knew it was normal!

(my thanks to my sister for introducing me to a great place in Memphis on my birthday..last year!)

Yesterday, we grabbed up some Krystal burgers (and Taco Bell for Jack...of course) and headed to spend a beautiful day at the Memphis Elmwood Cemetery!

You must go!! Such interesting stories and wonderful history!!

We took the car tour with the audio CD because Jack is still sick. He was resting comfortably in the back....

HEY! It is my day...sorry you are sick...but we are celebrating!!

Jack took this picture!

Max was full of energy....he kept leaping out of the car and Jeff kept pulling away when he would try to get back in......fun for everyone...

heh....heh....

happy birthday to me.....38!!

who knew that I would look like......a softball player....at 38!!

PRESENTS!!

My wonderful husband bought me a Memphis shirt....but it was too big...

HOW SMART he is.... to make me feel so good about myself first thing on my birthday!!

 I was so happy that I needed a smaller size!! 

Max knows that I love Perry the Platypus from Phineas and Ferb (a cartoon)....

My gift from Max!!

I love having an artistic family!!

MAZ vs..the machine...

I got a sewing machine for Christmas (2010), so I started to use it this month (October 2011).

I have been reluctant...because I CAN'T use sewing machines!!

Now that I have trifocals...I can't sew by hand anymore...

well, I CAN but it gives me a headache, takes forever...and I find more mistakes than planned...

YES! planned...

I think items that are sewn, crafted...made...should NOT look perfect. The mistakes add character!

Too much character....makes it look like crap...

The battle with the sewing machine...

It took me almost two days to thread the bobbin and the machine.

not a good start...

...sewing in a straight line should be easy...

HA!....not possible...

After three days of practicing, messing up, rethreading, fits, stomping, headaches, giving up....

I made two aprons within 20 minutes!!

I wanted primitive style aprons that are actually useful!!

...meaning.....a towel hanging from my waist...because that is my need in the kitchen!!

I chose old hand towels that were already "stained" (bleach stains). I was not about to spend time making a "pretty" apron and then mess it up by using it....which would be getting food on it...possible stains....

yep, that is leftover material from the baby quilt (did you expect me to spend money? ha!)

WAY crooked sewing.....adding primitive character....RIGHT!!! ?

not bad stitching on the fall pumpkin (yes! it is a pumpkin!) 

See the wonderful "fix it stitchin" on the end of the apron tie?

this towel was way too thick for my machine...causing "puckering" while sewing the band...

but that will fold over and scrunch when being worn anyway.....because it is PRACTICAL

I would have modeled these for you....but I was afraid that would cause too much jealousy....

I have not washed them yet....if they fall apart....another fit throwing...I am sure...