I am my mother after all!!!

As I loaded my Christmas pics off my camera and on to the computer....I came across this photo...apparently Jeff took a pic of me while I was washing dishes....I will GET him when he comes back from Puerto Rico....if I remember....

ANYWAY...when I first saw this picture, I thought "when was my mom in my kitchen washing dishes??" Then I looked closer and realized....IT IS ME!!!

A quote I saw on a mirror at a craft show popped into my head:

"Mirror, Mirror on the wall...DAMN I am my mother after all!"

HOLD ON!!! mom, apparently you are my only reader since I only get comments from you...hee hee...

SO don't get upset!!

I would like to take this post to tell my secret readers about my mom!

She went to the doctor in 1973 to get birth control and the doctor said "sorry Mrs. Armour, you are pregnant!".......(sorry dad!)

Thus began our mother/daughter/friend relationship!! I am not sure how those 9 months went BUT I weighed 10lbs and 5 oz.....AND she had me naturally without ANY drugs (she was in shock...has been for 37 years)....

My mom was (still is) creative and imaginative and a REAL natural teacher!!

I owe my gifts of teaching, disciplining and imagination to God VIA MY MOM!!

I also got my quirky sense of humor from HER!!

My mom is a strong woman! My mom had a mastectomy in 1986 and has been a survivor from breast cancer 24 years this November!!

My mom is extremely supportive of all her family!! 

I am not totally like my mother. She is patient, compassionate and giving. I am testy, sharp tongued and opinionated!

These differences have caused some typical mother/daughter issues over the years BUT we have the friendship to fall back on!!

There are many important and life changing things my mom said, did or provided.

HOWEVER, I want to share TWO that pop into my mind at least once a week!!

1. When I was 14, in the 9th grade and just moved to Memphis....we were having "trouble". My heart was hardened which showed through in my attitude. Every morning before I left for school, my mom would pray out loud FOR ME. It wasn't a prayer "aimed at me". It was a real prayer. Her conversation to God....praying for my day, her day and my heart! 

I started out angry and in "teenage disgust" at her....but slowly my heart was melted by God through her prayer!

2. When I was a new mom with Jack, I remember disciplining him and very gently my mom said/suggested "always think, am I disciplining Jack for his own good...or am I disciplining him because of what others may think, or because I want them to see him as perfect.."

I have had to think of this with both Jack and Max their entire lives. I am strict and expect MUCH out of children!! However, I often have to think...am I disciplining them because they need to learn this OR because I want them to present themselves AND ME a certain way.....

According to the above picture.....I am starting to look like my mother! Especially with my hair all cut off....

So, I will make my own mirror that says "Mirror, Mirror on the wall....SWEET, I am my mother after all!"

Dethroning Oprah

Most of you probably know....even if you won't admit it.....that before the Christmas season starts, Oprah does a show where she shares her FAVORITE THINGS with the audience.

I assume from the way she presents the items to the audience....that they are items she owns!!

Oprah is in her last season and I decided to take over her job...BUT on my blog.
Except for the childhood, economic status, marital status, parental status, likes and dislikes, etc.....Oprah and I could be twins! We both change our hair weekly AND we both struggle with our weight! We both have a huge audience of followers, too!!......ahem...

Well, I know you all have been waiting.....you just happen to be reading the first annual Classic MAZ.....
FAVORITE THANGS!!!!!


Here are my top 10 favorite items that I own (not in any order of importance)....each of you will get one......
(if you can find and purchase them!!)

My first FAVORITE THANG is my favorite sweatshirt!!! WOO HOOO....I can feel the excitement from all your screams!!
This sweatshirt is over 20 years old....handed down to me after my father was done with it....
I sleep in this comfiness almost every night in the cold winter....(I know! Jeff is a lucky man! Shut up Victoria! My secret is better!)

(it says Kraft Rock for Kraft Foods....my dad retired from that company...)

My second FAVORITE THANG are my BOOTS.....$10 on sale at Target, 2 years ago....they have fur inside, are very comfy and make me look like I have animal hooves. The teens are now wearing high priced boots just like these with their running shorts......(weirdos).....but I can not help my popularity and how some people are fascinated with my fame and want to be like me!!

I will have to wait for the cheering and screaming to die down before I go on!! I imagine some of you are acting like children jumping up and down with tears in your eyes!! 

My third FAVORITE THANG is BAGS!!!!! I have a love (obsession) with bags.....and here are a few of my FAVORITE from my collection....

and YES! everyone in the audience can receive a bag!! (Just go to Kroger and keep your grocery bags)

Next FAVORITE THANG are blankets!! I love unique and crazy blankets, quilts, throws.........these are so valuable you would not be able to receive one EXCEPT you are reading CLASSIC MAZ........(clapping, screaming)....(to fulfill this, you must make or buy your own)

(gator snuggie, sister-made fleece, "Jeff's ties" blanket for boys b/c Jeff is gone, 3 cracker barrel throws)

Next FAVORITE THANGS.....are baskets! You can contain any clutter in an awesome basket....especially sewing stuff!!

please try to contain your excitement!! do you need a kleenex? 

Let's move to more practical FAVORITE THANGS....

It's a great way to store pots in a non-spacious kitchen..... and store a sled that will never be used in Memphis........A SLED HANGING FROM THE CEILING!!!!

While the excitement is high...I will announce the next FAVORITE THANG...

you can't find this at any container store!!! they are great for books, kitchen items, etc...ANYTHING

(Max likes to remind me that the crate reads "theft of this is a crime...warning: use of this is against the law...") I explained that they were sitting outside the cafeteria where I was teaching and not in use....he just gives me a disappointed look...

shocked expression.....I JUST had an AHA moment....I see what he is saying, I will write that down in my journal...

The next item is my FAVORITE  Carroll Cloar (famous artist/Jeff's great uncle).... print in my favorite gaudy frame....

who started using gaudy as a negative word??? I love that word!

OK, the post is coming to a close....But I can't let you log off without this next item!!

It is my absolute FAVORITE THANG......drum roll.....stage lights dim....

a Jeff Ziegenhorn one-of-a-kind drawing and handmade frame!!!

(the story is: I saw this exact frog on the side of a road during a road trip...I described what I saw to Jeff and he drew EXACTLY what was in my head.....I later found out that I did not have my glasses on and it was actually a normal fire hydrant)

For your parting gift....you need to go to your closest grocery and get one of these...

I absolutely LOVE paper towels!

I know you are super psyched that you were fortunate enough to attend my FAVORITE THANGS post!! I hope you will be attending next years!!

MERRY CHRISTMAS FROM CLASSIC MAZ!!!

(you are responsible for all purchases and tax!)

MAZ's book club

As a parent, teacher, special educator, and behaviorist........I am constantly reading books on ADD, learning styles, behavior disorders, discipline, etc. I love the psychology of educating children!!

My new favorite book is That Crumpled Paper Was Due Last Week: Helping Disorganized and Distracted Boys Succeed in School and Life  by Ana Homayoun

It may be geared toward boys (because they are usually the disorganized gender) BUT this book is excellent for ANY gender!!

This book provides a guide to identify the (dis)organizational style of the child. It describes 8 types of children and provides guidance on how to use strategies to teach them to set their own goals and objectives, to manage time, to study, and to get organized!

It is an interesting read. It is a reference book. It is a wonderful parenting guide!!

Another great book is Under Pressure: Rescuing Our Children From The Culture of Hyper-Parenting by Carl Honore.

This is a great book dealing with the "new" issue of hyper-parenting. Parents are sucking the joy out of childhood. They are "up in their kid's business".... in every part of their lives.....and kids are not able to handle simple challenges of life! 

Now that I am in the homeschool culture, I know why home schooled kids get a bad name! Some of these parents wrap their arms tightly around their children "to protect them from the world" but they are really doing more harm than good!! (that is my opinion, not this book)

Well, you can only imagine what life might be like for my two sons....

One book I love encourages me to schedule! organize! (which is my thing anyway.....)

Another book I love encourages me to "let go" and "leave those kids alone!" (micromanage=bad)

I am really glad Oprah quit this year! I always thought I would end up on her show because my sons had developed horrible twitches, eyes bugged out, and pointing fingers at me!!

Seriously, I encourage all parents and teachers to get both books!! You must try to find a middle in parenting! It is hard! I have been on the "parent swing" for 13 years now and I probably won't get off the swing until I die..........I hope there ISN'T a swing on my front porch in heaven!!!

Classic MAZ goes to facebook

When school is over, dishes are done, laundry in progress and Christmas presents are taken care of.....what does the famous Classic MAZ do???

Creates her own facebook page!!

Apparently I have a side to me that likes attention in the computer world.......(but not in the real world!)

Classic MAZ will host my blog!! 

Just go to the new facebook page, Classic MAZ and push "like"...........BOOM! you get my ramblings automatically!!

I hope....

I really don't know what I am doing (computer-wise).....

Collect them all !!!

As most of you know, Jeff ("slappy head") is a secret CIA agent and has been gone anywhere from 4 to 6 months (not all at one time) out of every year for the past 5 years. Jeff gets to travel to exciting places, gets top star accommodations and gets to eat like a king!

Most people would send their loved ones pictures of the exciting places. Not my man.........he has created a collection of "slappy heads from all over the world"!

 DJ slappy head

sloshed slappy head

eskimo slappy head

"you talkin to me?" slappy head

"Ray Charles"  slappy head

"grizzly adams" slappy head

SPF slappy head

AND THE ONE I WAS SENT TODAY..............................................drumroll

"whitey goes to puerto rico" slappy head

I am sorry, I could not share my entire collection. I have 5 years worth!!

Please, learn from Jeff.............

don't waste time taking pics of places your spouse and children have never seen before!!! Send them YOU so they can start their own collections!!

Can't fit a square into a circle!

I  amuse myself!

I am also very content to stay at home and never go anywhere!!

So, isn't it great that I entertain myself???

However, this becomes a problem when me and my sense of humor go out in public.

I got a mammogram yesterday. It wasn't my first. I had one when I was 21. That was so long ago that I didn't really remember the experience. Both my mom and my maternal grandmother had breast cancer so with that history......I now get mammograms...

Well, I assume my male readers have logged off and maybe some of my female readers that know I give too much info....

Anyway, yesterday....

Well, with it being the holiday season, I have watched the movie Elf about 10 times already in the past month! There is a scene where they are talking about a "Christmasgram" (where someone dresses up and sings or says something to you at your workplace, etc...) Elf, the naive main character, says "mmmm, Christmasgram, that sounds yummy! I want one!" or something like that.....

I get into the room and start chatting it up with the technician. She is about my age and we are talking about my medical history, my husband's job, my kids, what I used to do for a job, and she kind of has my sense of humor.....sort of..... She is really nice and funny. I step over to the machine and she says "well let's start the mammogram!" Without thinking it through....I say "mmm, mammogram, that sounds yummy!" She sort of laughed and said "what?".....I realized immediately that it was not appropriate and it would take way too long to explain which takes the "funny" away! But I had to explain so they would not add to the red flags that I am sure are already in my file!

OK, so now the mammogram is underway and she says "I am sorry! I am not explaining what I am doing....I got carried away talking to you." I told her it was fine. I knew what to expect and then I told her about Jeff's job (if you readers don't know what Jeff does....ask me later....If I explain now, it will just make this story longer). She commented on how interesting his job would be and then said "my husband thinks I have a great job! Squishing boobies all day." Well, this made me laugh because I knew what she meant but it really made her husband sound like a violent man! So I said "Really, ouch!"....But I grinned. Then she felt uncomfortable which made me feel better about my Elf comment!! She tried to make things better by saying "I don't see it that way! I see it as helping people!" I told her I knew what she meant......but I was grinning on the inside. I wasn't the only weirdo in the room!

Then it was time for me to get dressed. I was in the dressing room and she was talking to me while I was getting dressed.
I said, "where are the new bras?"

"what?"

"where are the new bras?"

She says "what new bras?"

I said, "well the one I came with is for round boobs, but you formed mine into plus signs so I assume you are giving out new bras!"

All was quiet, I was dressed and opened the door. She was smiling from ear to ear.

"Margaret, you will be fine.....whatever the results! You have a great sense of humor!"

WHEW! I was not pegged as a weirdo!

I have to go through all this again soon. They found a ton of calcium deposits and growths in both breasts......It is all probably just normal findings, but they need a "base".... something to go on for all the other mammograms! BUT I think I will keep my mouth quiet for the ultrasounds and second diagnostic mammograms.

By the way.....I must be making a new holiday tradition! It was this time last year that I was having multiple tests done for bladder cancer. That was ruled out and I was just cleared from my 3 month visits last month!
I don't care for this type of holiday tradition! I will stick with rockin' around the Christmas tree!