"If I had my way King Raven would pluck out his eyes and eat his right royal liver."

I have always enjoyed the stories of Robin Hood....but each of them have left me with some disappointment:

it is either....too ANIMATED:

or.....too cheesy:

two words....Mel Brooks:

.....um....NO!

too "teen crowd"

too Russell Crowe

None of these stories had the.... STORY!!

I finally found an author that GOT the story....

If any of my readers are familiar with Stephen R. Lawhead, you will know that he spends time getting you invested in his characters.....

unfortunately....this causes me to lose interest in a few of his wonderful books...(because of my small brain)

He is an excellent writer ....but I need to be sucked in right away...I need action and story to grab me and carry me through the whole book....

This book DID IT!!!

He is a genius with this NEW telling of Robin Hood. He took it out of England and set it in Wales, year AD 1093.

*historically Wales would have primeval forests and England would not!.....duh!.....genius!

*he uses history to write how the Robin Hood legend WOULD have actually been!!

*historical use of weaponry

*historical use of military, the people, their life, the geography, etc

AND for my entertainment.....gore, war, mystery, suspense, humor, betrayal....

HOOD is the first in the King Raven Trilogy. I am enjoying the second book just as much, if not more!!

 In the second book, SCARLET, the reader is listening as Will Scarlet (prisoner in a cell) tells a monk about his adventures with RHI  BRAN  HUD (say it real fast)......

I can't wait to finish SCARLET and begin the third and final book, TUCK!

What are you reading this summer??

An XFILES sighting in East Memphis....

apparently it is hard to learn to coordinate your walking in a boot.....and even harder when you are running from your mother who insists on taking your picture and making fun of your coordination!!

Jack broke his big toe.....and the big toe is important....especially when it is your growth plate...and you are growing....

Jack is having fun for now.....and having a great attitude about his plans for the next few weeks being altered......the youth group had some pretty fun stuff planned and he will be "socializing" at the events!! 

I am betting he will still make his own fun!!

We Have an ANSWER!!!

Max just before he got sick (Easter weekend)

I heard from the doctor today...

the blood work has come back....

Max has MYCOPLASMA....a bacteria infection in his lungs....

It has turned into "Walking Pneumonia".

I don't want people to think that I am dramatizing how sick he has been.

He has been so "exhausted" that he has been unable to do any of the things he loves to do!!!

You only get the facts from MAZ!!!

Here is a pic of Max after almost 4 weeks of this illness.....

It is like looking at a zombie....trying to pull himself up out of the grave just to do the simple things in life.....

OK, now go look up mycoplasma....they are really cool parasitic bacteria that lack cell walls...they look like jelly fish..... would make an awesome horror movie!!

A MAZ must SEE!!!

I have not reviewed a movie in a long time!! If you are regular reader, you know that my favorite movie genre is horror/suspense.

I watch a ton of movies!!

Netflix should hire me to blog for them!!!

.....Netflix is wonderful....Netflix is the best....Netflix is number one.....everyone should join Netflix.....

(Hope that works)

Anyway...

My favorite movie under the genre of Horror remains......30 Days of Night....THE BEST vampire movie EVER!!! Check it out!!
30 Days of Night Official Website

 I now have a definite number 2 movie!

This movie was great!

It was filmed just like the classics!

There was not any sex or nudity (one flash of a woman's bare back).....

They did not ruin the story with any satanic or sex perversion!

I was able to enjoy the entire movie for the horror of the Wofman, the fabulous disgusting gore, and the exciting and sometimes unexpected suspense! It was so refreshing!!

I loved the story, the acting and the filming!! I give it 5 out of 5 gnawed out entrails!!!

My name is MAZ and I have an addiction....

well I have many but todays topic will be the addiction of home remodeling.....or something like that...

.......I caused my husband's baldness

The kids get busy doing their thing and then I think "ooh, I could do this to the house and make it look better and it would not cost us any money!".....(if only the ideas would work out...)

through the years, Jeff has come home from work and found large book shelves moved to the middle of the room....because I could not move them further..

sofas stuck in the kitchen...because I could not move it further

a large cabinet stuck in the hallway and the babies and I trapped on the other side...starving...because I could not move it further...earlier in the day..

rooms halfway painted

tiles ripped off the wall.....and then he has to finish the project because we "found a problem"

carpets ripped up...

old sofas "dyed".....that did NOT work....thought I could "recover" the couch.....NIGHTMARE....

I have done really well lately to keep my hands busy with school, sewing and reading and other useful activities....

However, Max has been sick for the past 3 weeks....and....well......

The linoleum in our back room that we have had for 10 years has been speaking to me....

"it wouldn't cost a thing to pull me up....whatever is under me couldn't be worse than the Brady Bunch look!"

I made sure Max had a bowl of food and water.....and got my box cutter and garbage bag......I started pulling up the linoleum...

The excitement filled me! The adrenaline! The rush! The HIGH!!!

.....what is this??

The tiles spoke to me..."we aren't even glued down....pull us up....there is an old wood floor under here!!.....you can stain it "as is", seal it...and it will have that OLD factory look that you want!! do it...do it....do it...."

I was shaking with delight! I could not wait to pop those suckers up!!......I ignored the musty smell.....

........oh crap......what the....shnike.......

dialed the phone

"hello?"

"Jeff, Do you love me?"

"yes!"

"Do you really love me?"

"What did you do?"

.................i think there will be another delay on our second bathroom......sigh......

YES!! I KNEW I was a Jedi......

I have known for some time that I could make things happen....

 if I think it.....(sometimes) it will happen....(sometimes)...

My poor baby Max has been sick for quite a few weeks. They thought it was Mono but then because of some symptoms, I took him to be tested.....finger prick...negative....not Mono...

The doctor and I were conversing...he agreed that Max was sick! BUT he has no idea what is wrong with him. Max sat there pale and shivering/shaking and obviously in pain and discomfort.....

The doctor decided that he was going to draw some blood and run tests.....

"It may take a week to get the results...if you don't hear back from us, you should call us in a week.."

WAIT...what?...I didn't like that. I am thinking in my head...My son obviously has something strange wrong with him. We have just discussed how sick he is. I blew it off and said maybe it was puberty and he was tired and "growing". YOU verbally proclaimed concern and told ME that I needed to be concerned....and now you say I may have to CHASE AFTER these important results.....I BETTER NOT have to call to find out... YOU better call me if you know what is best for your life.....

As I am thinking this but trying to keep calm and polite and choose my words.....the doctor says...
In a Star-Wars-character-trance-like-voice...

"You won't have to call for the results...We will call you..."

I smiled, pulled my hood back over my eyes and my cloak back over my saber....

Max got off his ath!!

Max got off his ath and finished his math!!

Max graduated from FIFTH GRADE and elementary school last night!! 

Here in Memphis....most of the city schools around us....5th grade is the last grade in the elementary school and 6th grade is in the middle school......(snarl).....

Ziegenhorn School for the Gifted complies with the surrounding public schools (at least in this area)...

Max graduated top in his class!! We held graduation at the most prestigious place......and with the whole school board (teachers, principal, superintendent, and every administrator)....

We decided to invite the upperclassman from the middle school (even though he is a "class clown").

(yes....he has a personal guidance counselor)

The end of the year school program was interesting......to say the least......a little girl left in tears....

Last night I realized......I TOO am through with elementary school (teaching)....another life transition

sniff sniff......

BUT I LOVE the teen years!!!! WOO HOO now life gets really spicy!!

A River Runs Through It

Memphis and our river has been on the news lately. I wanted to educate my readers that might not be familiar with either......ENJOY!!

Please click on the pictures for a better view....

 We are known for our giant swans. This time of year, they nest near a giant island made out of mud....

Shortalls are necessary to stay cool in this humid weather....

Memphians are wise and efficient. GO GREEN. We do not use unnecessary items, fuel......or wheels.....

Most people know Beale Street for music, entertainment, eating and drinking....but Beale and Riverside Drive is for our Kayakers....

As long as Memphis has had the Cotton Carnivals and then the BBQ Fests....It has been at the location in the above picture. Every year the people complain about the heat......we found a solution!!!  Should be cooler this year!!

The trolleys have really boosted the economy for us so we added pontoon boats this summer!!

Should be easier to get to the concerts on the island of mud!!

The downtown cops on bikes are now branching out into cops in kayaks....

The cities that forked out the money for the fancy"sprinkler" parks received great reports in the travel magazines so Memphis created their own spots for tourists to "cool" off....complete with benches!!

I would just make sure you have had your immunization shots!

Please tell all your friends and family about Memphis and my blog if you need any other travel tips!!

Her children will rise up.........beware!

I love to share parenting techniques with my readers. It is always wise to encourage your children with your words....

My oldest is very sarcastic and witty....I have no idea where he got his sense of humor....???

I am not only his mother, I am his teacher, guidance counselor, principal, dictator, jedi, etc...

I make sure that he is emotionally healthy.....so after many of his comments...I call him a certain name...

Jack gave me this for Mother's Day:

From Smart Ass (or butthead)

It was perfect! 

Quilt for a baby goat.....

I thought I was the only one that made quilts for goats....


This past Monday, I went to my local UPS store to ship the baby quilt and goat to my new nephew!!

I was so excited! I was filled with excitement that Kidd would soon be able to slobber, roll....whatever...on the quilt that I have been working on for the entire winter!! I reluctantly was shipping the goat. I know I could do a better job but I also know that he would be way too old by the time I made another one....

The UPS employee came back to the counter with everything packed into this thin box, slapped the label on and took my money.....

Another emotion washed over me.....what was it.....I am not used to it....

a girly......"awwwwww"

Like people feel for animals or babies...

I had a moment of grief.....or remorse....or something.....I rarely..if EVER have felt it...so I can't put it to words...

ANYWAY....the package SHOULD have arrived in LA, California.. yesterday (friday)....

Here are the pictures........
(don't look too close! i don't follow patterns, i hand sew, design, etc....lots of mistakes!)

 the colorful tags (grosgrain ribbon) are for baby to play with! my Jack always went straight for the tags when he was a baby!!

 Proud Aunt Margaret holding baby.......

Well.....as close as I will get....HA HA!!

Scooby Doo and the curse of the second bathroom....

If you are a regular reader you will remember that every time we continue work on our second bathroom, something happens......
theft
broken arms
surgeries
lawn mower breaks, etc

You also know that I don't want to work. I want to stay home, laze around and do nothing.....

SLOTHS UNITE!

So I send my husband out to do it all and let the house fall apart because I refuse to contribute!

Well, we bought that lawn mower and started work on the bathroom again......

heh... heh.... heh

Memphis has had some major storms and we are having historical flooding.....
It started raining INSIDE our house...

So we are now getting a new roof.....looking at roofers....stopping work on the bathroom......

And I decided to embrace this hysterical comedy.....go with it.....leave things as is....

shop vac as decor in living room

this air thingy stuffed under a table in back room

Let's face it....we can't keep them in the shop because these are the replacements for the ones that were STOLEN out of the shop years ago.....with ALL of my husband's tools.....ahhh the comedy.....

AND last night the curse CONTINUES.....

I planned a healthy dinner of Red Baron frozen pizza because all three guys are sick with allergy/sinus infections/virus...... and I am huge on eating right!!!

We have a lovely and HUGE gas oven that came with the house.

It is from the 1980s....it takes up the entire kitchen. 

Guess what.....

The oven quit working last night......barely cooked those healthy pizzas and then just stopped working!!!

pretty sure the gas heating thingy went out......

SO EXCITED!!!!! It is next on the list........who needs a second bathroom???....not us!

Everybody....calm down!

One of my favorite and wise parenting techniques is "mocking your children".

As a professional, I have also turned it into a behavior technique!!
I would love to share it with all my readers.
Almost everyone finds themselves in situations where they feel they have been personally wronged and feelings of anger burn in the pit of your stomach.

For example:
if you are pulled over for going 60 in a 45.....use my technique.
if you receive a bad grade on a report...use my technique.

THE TECHNIQUE:
stand up, turn around to face everyone, put your arms straight out to your side, straighten out your fingers and loudly say "everybody....calm down!"

WHY?.....you ask...

well, it makes my husband and I giggle

it makes my oldest son grumpy and disgusted

WHY?....you ask....

because of this video about 10 years ago....(my oldest son is the one being pulled down the slide)