I am my mother after all!!!

As I loaded my Christmas pics off my camera and on to the computer....I came across this photo...apparently Jeff took a pic of me while I was washing dishes....I will GET him when he comes back from Puerto Rico....if I remember....

ANYWAY...when I first saw this picture, I thought "when was my mom in my kitchen washing dishes??" Then I looked closer and realized....IT IS ME!!!

A quote I saw on a mirror at a craft show popped into my head:

"Mirror, Mirror on the wall...DAMN I am my mother after all!"

HOLD ON!!! mom, apparently you are my only reader since I only get comments from you...hee hee...

SO don't get upset!!

I would like to take this post to tell my secret readers about my mom!

She went to the doctor in 1973 to get birth control and the doctor said "sorry Mrs. Armour, you are pregnant!".......(sorry dad!)

Thus began our mother/daughter/friend relationship!! I am not sure how those 9 months went BUT I weighed 10lbs and 5 oz.....AND she had me naturally without ANY drugs (she was in shock...has been for 37 years)....

My mom was (still is) creative and imaginative and a REAL natural teacher!!

I owe my gifts of teaching, disciplining and imagination to God VIA MY MOM!!

I also got my quirky sense of humor from HER!!

My mom is a strong woman! My mom had a mastectomy in 1986 and has been a survivor from breast cancer 24 years this November!!

My mom is extremely supportive of all her family!! 

I am not totally like my mother. She is patient, compassionate and giving. I am testy, sharp tongued and opinionated!

These differences have caused some typical mother/daughter issues over the years BUT we have the friendship to fall back on!!

There are many important and life changing things my mom said, did or provided.

HOWEVER, I want to share TWO that pop into my mind at least once a week!!

1. When I was 14, in the 9th grade and just moved to Memphis....we were having "trouble". My heart was hardened which showed through in my attitude. Every morning before I left for school, my mom would pray out loud FOR ME. It wasn't a prayer "aimed at me". It was a real prayer. Her conversation to God....praying for my day, her day and my heart! 

I started out angry and in "teenage disgust" at her....but slowly my heart was melted by God through her prayer!

2. When I was a new mom with Jack, I remember disciplining him and very gently my mom said/suggested "always think, am I disciplining Jack for his own good...or am I disciplining him because of what others may think, or because I want them to see him as perfect.."

I have had to think of this with both Jack and Max their entire lives. I am strict and expect MUCH out of children!! However, I often have to think...am I disciplining them because they need to learn this OR because I want them to present themselves AND ME a certain way.....

According to the above picture.....I am starting to look like my mother! Especially with my hair all cut off....

So, I will make my own mirror that says "Mirror, Mirror on the wall....SWEET, I am my mother after all!"

Dethroning Oprah

Most of you probably know....even if you won't admit it.....that before the Christmas season starts, Oprah does a show where she shares her FAVORITE THINGS with the audience.

I assume from the way she presents the items to the audience....that they are items she owns!!

Oprah is in her last season and I decided to take over her job...BUT on my blog.
Except for the childhood, economic status, marital status, parental status, likes and dislikes, etc.....Oprah and I could be twins! We both change our hair weekly AND we both struggle with our weight! We both have a huge audience of followers, too!!......ahem...

Well, I know you all have been waiting.....you just happen to be reading the first annual Classic MAZ.....
FAVORITE THANGS!!!!!


Here are my top 10 favorite items that I own (not in any order of importance)....each of you will get one......
(if you can find and purchase them!!)

My first FAVORITE THANG is my favorite sweatshirt!!! WOO HOOO....I can feel the excitement from all your screams!!
This sweatshirt is over 20 years old....handed down to me after my father was done with it....
I sleep in this comfiness almost every night in the cold winter....(I know! Jeff is a lucky man! Shut up Victoria! My secret is better!)

(it says Kraft Rock for Kraft Foods....my dad retired from that company...)

My second FAVORITE THANG are my BOOTS.....$10 on sale at Target, 2 years ago....they have fur inside, are very comfy and make me look like I have animal hooves. The teens are now wearing high priced boots just like these with their running shorts......(weirdos).....but I can not help my popularity and how some people are fascinated with my fame and want to be like me!!

I will have to wait for the cheering and screaming to die down before I go on!! I imagine some of you are acting like children jumping up and down with tears in your eyes!! 

My third FAVORITE THANG is BAGS!!!!! I have a love (obsession) with bags.....and here are a few of my FAVORITE from my collection....

and YES! everyone in the audience can receive a bag!! (Just go to Kroger and keep your grocery bags)

Next FAVORITE THANG are blankets!! I love unique and crazy blankets, quilts, throws.........these are so valuable you would not be able to receive one EXCEPT you are reading CLASSIC MAZ........(clapping, screaming)....(to fulfill this, you must make or buy your own)

(gator snuggie, sister-made fleece, "Jeff's ties" blanket for boys b/c Jeff is gone, 3 cracker barrel throws)

Next FAVORITE THANGS.....are baskets! You can contain any clutter in an awesome basket....especially sewing stuff!!

please try to contain your excitement!! do you need a kleenex? 

Let's move to more practical FAVORITE THANGS....

It's a great way to store pots in a non-spacious kitchen..... and store a sled that will never be used in Memphis........A SLED HANGING FROM THE CEILING!!!!

While the excitement is high...I will announce the next FAVORITE THANG...

you can't find this at any container store!!! they are great for books, kitchen items, etc...ANYTHING

(Max likes to remind me that the crate reads "theft of this is a crime...warning: use of this is against the law...") I explained that they were sitting outside the cafeteria where I was teaching and not in use....he just gives me a disappointed look...

shocked expression.....I JUST had an AHA moment....I see what he is saying, I will write that down in my journal...

The next item is my FAVORITE  Carroll Cloar (famous artist/Jeff's great uncle).... print in my favorite gaudy frame....

who started using gaudy as a negative word??? I love that word!

OK, the post is coming to a close....But I can't let you log off without this next item!!

It is my absolute FAVORITE THANG......drum roll.....stage lights dim....

a Jeff Ziegenhorn one-of-a-kind drawing and handmade frame!!!

(the story is: I saw this exact frog on the side of a road during a road trip...I described what I saw to Jeff and he drew EXACTLY what was in my head.....I later found out that I did not have my glasses on and it was actually a normal fire hydrant)

For your parting gift....you need to go to your closest grocery and get one of these...

I absolutely LOVE paper towels!

I know you are super psyched that you were fortunate enough to attend my FAVORITE THANGS post!! I hope you will be attending next years!!

MERRY CHRISTMAS FROM CLASSIC MAZ!!!

(you are responsible for all purchases and tax!)

MAZ's book club

As a parent, teacher, special educator, and behaviorist........I am constantly reading books on ADD, learning styles, behavior disorders, discipline, etc. I love the psychology of educating children!!

My new favorite book is That Crumpled Paper Was Due Last Week: Helping Disorganized and Distracted Boys Succeed in School and Life  by Ana Homayoun

It may be geared toward boys (because they are usually the disorganized gender) BUT this book is excellent for ANY gender!!

This book provides a guide to identify the (dis)organizational style of the child. It describes 8 types of children and provides guidance on how to use strategies to teach them to set their own goals and objectives, to manage time, to study, and to get organized!

It is an interesting read. It is a reference book. It is a wonderful parenting guide!!

Another great book is Under Pressure: Rescuing Our Children From The Culture of Hyper-Parenting by Carl Honore.

This is a great book dealing with the "new" issue of hyper-parenting. Parents are sucking the joy out of childhood. They are "up in their kid's business".... in every part of their lives.....and kids are not able to handle simple challenges of life! 

Now that I am in the homeschool culture, I know why home schooled kids get a bad name! Some of these parents wrap their arms tightly around their children "to protect them from the world" but they are really doing more harm than good!! (that is my opinion, not this book)

Well, you can only imagine what life might be like for my two sons....

One book I love encourages me to schedule! organize! (which is my thing anyway.....)

Another book I love encourages me to "let go" and "leave those kids alone!" (micromanage=bad)

I am really glad Oprah quit this year! I always thought I would end up on her show because my sons had developed horrible twitches, eyes bugged out, and pointing fingers at me!!

Seriously, I encourage all parents and teachers to get both books!! You must try to find a middle in parenting! It is hard! I have been on the "parent swing" for 13 years now and I probably won't get off the swing until I die..........I hope there ISN'T a swing on my front porch in heaven!!!

Classic MAZ goes to facebook

When school is over, dishes are done, laundry in progress and Christmas presents are taken care of.....what does the famous Classic MAZ do???

Creates her own facebook page!!

Apparently I have a side to me that likes attention in the computer world.......(but not in the real world!)

Classic MAZ will host my blog!! 

Just go to the new facebook page, Classic MAZ and push "like"...........BOOM! you get my ramblings automatically!!

I hope....

I really don't know what I am doing (computer-wise).....

Collect them all !!!

As most of you know, Jeff ("slappy head") is a secret CIA agent and has been gone anywhere from 4 to 6 months (not all at one time) out of every year for the past 5 years. Jeff gets to travel to exciting places, gets top star accommodations and gets to eat like a king!

Most people would send their loved ones pictures of the exciting places. Not my man.........he has created a collection of "slappy heads from all over the world"!

 DJ slappy head

sloshed slappy head

eskimo slappy head

"you talkin to me?" slappy head

"Ray Charles"  slappy head

"grizzly adams" slappy head

SPF slappy head

AND THE ONE I WAS SENT TODAY..............................................drumroll

"whitey goes to puerto rico" slappy head

I am sorry, I could not share my entire collection. I have 5 years worth!!

Please, learn from Jeff.............

don't waste time taking pics of places your spouse and children have never seen before!!! Send them YOU so they can start their own collections!!

Can't fit a square into a circle!

I  amuse myself!

I am also very content to stay at home and never go anywhere!!

So, isn't it great that I entertain myself???

However, this becomes a problem when me and my sense of humor go out in public.

I got a mammogram yesterday. It wasn't my first. I had one when I was 21. That was so long ago that I didn't really remember the experience. Both my mom and my maternal grandmother had breast cancer so with that history......I now get mammograms...

Well, I assume my male readers have logged off and maybe some of my female readers that know I give too much info....

Anyway, yesterday....

Well, with it being the holiday season, I have watched the movie Elf about 10 times already in the past month! There is a scene where they are talking about a "Christmasgram" (where someone dresses up and sings or says something to you at your workplace, etc...) Elf, the naive main character, says "mmmm, Christmasgram, that sounds yummy! I want one!" or something like that.....

I get into the room and start chatting it up with the technician. She is about my age and we are talking about my medical history, my husband's job, my kids, what I used to do for a job, and she kind of has my sense of humor.....sort of..... She is really nice and funny. I step over to the machine and she says "well let's start the mammogram!" Without thinking it through....I say "mmm, mammogram, that sounds yummy!" She sort of laughed and said "what?".....I realized immediately that it was not appropriate and it would take way too long to explain which takes the "funny" away! But I had to explain so they would not add to the red flags that I am sure are already in my file!

OK, so now the mammogram is underway and she says "I am sorry! I am not explaining what I am doing....I got carried away talking to you." I told her it was fine. I knew what to expect and then I told her about Jeff's job (if you readers don't know what Jeff does....ask me later....If I explain now, it will just make this story longer). She commented on how interesting his job would be and then said "my husband thinks I have a great job! Squishing boobies all day." Well, this made me laugh because I knew what she meant but it really made her husband sound like a violent man! So I said "Really, ouch!"....But I grinned. Then she felt uncomfortable which made me feel better about my Elf comment!! She tried to make things better by saying "I don't see it that way! I see it as helping people!" I told her I knew what she meant......but I was grinning on the inside. I wasn't the only weirdo in the room!

Then it was time for me to get dressed. I was in the dressing room and she was talking to me while I was getting dressed.
I said, "where are the new bras?"

"what?"

"where are the new bras?"

She says "what new bras?"

I said, "well the one I came with is for round boobs, but you formed mine into plus signs so I assume you are giving out new bras!"

All was quiet, I was dressed and opened the door. She was smiling from ear to ear.

"Margaret, you will be fine.....whatever the results! You have a great sense of humor!"

WHEW! I was not pegged as a weirdo!

I have to go through all this again soon. They found a ton of calcium deposits and growths in both breasts......It is all probably just normal findings, but they need a "base".... something to go on for all the other mammograms! BUT I think I will keep my mouth quiet for the ultrasounds and second diagnostic mammograms.

By the way.....I must be making a new holiday tradition! It was this time last year that I was having multiple tests done for bladder cancer. That was ruled out and I was just cleared from my 3 month visits last month!
I don't care for this type of holiday tradition! I will stick with rockin' around the Christmas tree!

look before you growl

The evenings are the hardest with Jeff being gone! Jack and I were commenting on how it did not seem very "Christmassy" even with our tree up, Christmas specials on, working a Christmas puzzle, etc....

Next thing I know.....Jack is throwing something at my tree, running to grab it, stepping back and throwing it again...

Then Max joins in....

HAVE MY BOYS LOST THEIR MINDS??? There isn't any craziness like that in my house...especially after 5pm!!!

Then they show me what they have made! It was Jack's idea....
Christmas Tree Huggers:

Within minutes they had each created "people" out of pipe cleaners and were tossing them at the Christmas tree.

Sometimes they would stand really close and other times they would stand on the other side of the room. The "hugger" that landed the highest on the tree got the most points. If you threw your "hugger" and it grabbed the opponents "hugger" off the tree, then that was REALLY GREAT and more commotion!!

oh, you have to look hard but on the left...Max's landed high up near the top!

(you can also see my big burger ornament...from the bottom of it...I love burgers!)

(2 years ago we made snow flakes...I got carried away and made a ton and then strung them up)

(look in the middle at the bottom and see the disco mirror ball? I have about 12 on the tree...they are AWESOME when the sunlight hits them!!......YES! my tree matches my personality!)

Back to the game:

Normally, I don't like this kind of commotion right beside me at 9:30pm BUT I thought this was a genius game!!!

I made my own "hugger" in the shape of a Christmas tree....

by bedtime, throwing stances had been perfected.....this is Jack....

both "huggers" landed at the top of the tree and the boys looked like bugs trying to hurry and climb on each other or something to get it down without touching the tree...because they knew I would "touch" them if they broke anything!

(see my burger ornament? LOVE IT!!)

(If you are wondering, the big white thing on top of the tree is an "Indian head" made out of paper. I never had a tree topper, so about 5 years ago, Max made me the Indian head and Jack made me a star exploding. It was a paper towel roll painted red and cut at the end like an exploding star.....it fell off in the game...it may be in another picture.)

Back to the game:

My "hugger" hardly ever made it on the tree. Turns out the longer bodied "huggers" hugged the tree better! Mine was either flung the wrong way or hit the tree and fell off. If it stuck to the tree, the boys usually got higher!!!

Also, I never got off the couch. I had my snuggie on, I was holding the remote, my drink, popcorn.....

But I get points for playing RIGHT???

p.s. this idea is patented/copyrighted for Jack and if you steal it for profit.........you will find out about my anger issues!!!!

Don't pull that!

Well the big day arrived!! The day after Thanksgiving, Jeff's family came to have lunch at my house!! As you know from my previous post, I was nervous as to which mistakes I would make in this cooking adventure.

I only had two that I know about for sure.....and they weren't a real biggy:

1. I needed the rolls to rise on Thanksgiving day and my house was too cold so I had to turn our heat up. It was in the 70s outside so the 4 of us felt like we were going to die of a heat stroke....BUT

THEY ROSE....

and they tasted great!!

2. I cooked an empty pan and burned the cooking spray that was on said pan...... that was ready for the cheese biscuits for my mom's feast.......but I figured it out and all was fine!!

The other item I prepared on Thursday for my big meal on Friday was my first ever home made fresh cranberry sauce! This was fun! It ended up being tart (was supposed to be) but it was still good! 

Actually, everything I made was great!! Now, depending on which person you ask.......you may get a different answer because of different taste preferences.....but I tasted everything.....AND I thought everything tasted great.....AND I am my harshest critic!!! AND.....everything turned out pretty much like it was supposed to turn out....AND that is a THANKSGIVING MIRACLE!!!! in my cooking world...

BUT WAIT!!!! THE TURKEY!!!

I was so nervous about the turkey. I am not a meat eater. It really grosses me out to see meat before it is cooked. I don't care for Turkey. I have made it known that I would rather have a burger and fries for Thanksgiving...but everyone else prefers the traditional meal.

Thursday night after eating dinner at my mom's, I put my plan into action. It was 10:30pm. The first step was to take the "turkey breast with bone-in" out of the refrigerator and rinse it then dry it......GROSS.

I cut open the packaging and a river of blood poured into my sink. I held back a gag and then a goat bleat actually came out of my mouth involuntarily. Max ran out of the kitchen. I had called him in to watch because he was interested.....but he yelled as he ran away that he would just look at it once it was cooked. I turned the water on and started to rinse the turkey breast. I started with the nasty cavity.

Then I flipped the turkey over and saw this flap. I thought it was like a skin flap and maybe it should be cut off. I started to pull it.....then it looked like it was tucked into a butthole.....I started to gag uncontrollably. I yelled for Jeff. He came in as I pulled the skin flap as tight as I could....

I threw up a little in my mouth!!......

The nightmare continued until I got the turkey oiled down, butter up under the skin and completely seasoned......then I had to crack the bones when putting it in the crockpot...........I nearly fainted....and then it still would not fit!! Jeff had to do it!!

The turkey ended up being the best tasting turkey!!! Max loved it and he is my pickiest eater!!! It was not spongey! It fell off the bone, it wasn't dry or bland, it was full of flavor.....it was perfect!!! I will brag, brag, brag!!!! 

Friday morning cooking went well, too! No problems. Everything was done on time and all my recipes worked!! 

I had fun and am very pleased! I hope to do it again next year!!!............maybe not bathing the turkey with the neck sleeve.......

Most Wonderful Time Of The Year

Tomorrow starts the Most Wonderful Time Of The Year for me!!

From November 24th to December 24th, I am filled with great JOY!!! It hasn't always been that way. When I was in school, I had to worry about school work. When I worked an actual JOB, I had to worry with going to the JOB....
But now that I stay home with the kids and we do school in the home, I can actually enjoy the entire season!!

I just have a few tiny complaints like:
* the radio Christmas songs....there are many rock groups that have redone Christmas songs, yet the radio station that does the holiday music 24/7 plays the same songs over and over and they are the BAD country or the BAD r&b (and I am not knocking r&b) or they play the horrible songs with the dying mother who for some reason needs new shoes.....

The one that makes me cry is actually a great song by the fabulous B.B. King. There is one line that says "it takes 6 months to pay the whole thing off"...He is talking about buying everyone what they want for Christmas and doing Christmas up the right way but then it takes the next 6 months to pay it all off.....
I cry because I think he wrote this when he was poor and he could still pay off his credit card in 6 months.....I think it took me 5 years! I should have played the guitar instead of teaching!!

WARNING: I may lose most of my readers on the next 2 complaints....just keep in mind that you either don't know me and read for some weird reason..so keep reading!! OR you love me and should love me unconditionally...OR you KNOW me so never take me too seriously!!

*December 25th....is a depressing day...the presents are over in minutes and for a female adult that means cleaning and cooking is left for the rest of the day....and for me that AIN'T fun!! I do like watching my children play but truthfully I don't get anything and I don't get to play so I clean up the paper, start laundry if needed and cook breakfast or whatever for the lunch that day.....

*December 25th on a Sunday......yea, I heard you gasp...but I don't like going to church on Christmas day....it puts a kink in things! For one, my kids are usually sick anyway....And any of you that can say your kids happily go to church and leave their toys...."good for you"....

Now, I don't need a sermon......and I don't want to hear about how creative you are in bringing the REAL meaning of Christmas....I realized I was slipping in that department the year I found Max with the nativity scene spread out under the tree, hot wheels mixed in and the shepherds carrying machine guns.

* one more downer for me is when the Memphis weather ruins it all by staying in the high 50s or warmer.....it must be in the low 50s or cooler...

Good thing I am not high maintenance!!! AM I RIGHT????

 old pic of the boys decorating my mom's tree at her old house one year when I was teaching in the school system!!

I try so hard to be a better person!!!!!

I am so glad I only have 2 kids and one husband!! I do laundry ALL day EVERY day....and my washer and dryer are becoming VERY rebellious. I guess in appliance years, they are in their teens.

I admit, when I walk into their room....I give the first dirty look. I probably mutter the first dirty word or sarcastic remark.... or I might be a little over aggressive with Washer when it is "stomping" around while pretending to be in "spin cycle".....BUT I am the OWNER! I am not always talking about the fact that Washer does not spin appropriately or Dryer does not dry the first time told! Most of the time I am speaking about the Piles and how they multiply or divide.

I should not mind the extra modifications to get them to do their work. I certainly don't want to spend a fortune on the "pretty" models that pretend to know what they're doing and then every time I walk into the room I might have to listen to........"I am gorgeous...look at me.....I know EXACTLY how to wash this towel.....ooh la la! look at how I dry this sweater....."......or worse it shushes me because it is supposed to be quiet when it is washing and drying!!

I will try to be a better laundress........sigh.....

Holiday Game For All To Play

Here is a holiday game in which all my readers can participate!

This year, I am hosting Thanksgiving at my house for Jeff's family.
There will be a guaranteed Classic Maz story out of this situation because I am cooking the whole feast and.......................................I can't cook!

my angry cooking face

Here is what happens when I cook:
*I accidentally leave important ingredients out of the recipe.

*I don't have an important ingredient so I substitute and it does not work.

*Something gets left in the food that should not be there (example: paper in between the cheese slices) and it gets cooked into the meal.

*I follow the directions exactly and the food burns anyway, or is liquid when it should be solid, or is doughy in the middle and burned on the outside, or runs off the pan like a lake when it should puff up, or it explodes after 5 minutes and it should cook for 45 minutes.........etc...

*I truly can burn a pan of water (it dries up and scorches).

*I own 3 pots, 2 crockpots, several pans and a large mysterious oven from the early 80s.......


So, I have planned a delicious Thanksgiving Menu for 11 people.  I am thrilled and excited!! I think this will be one of my favorite Thanksgivings EVER!!!

Let's see which one of you can guess what might happen! I don't plan on anything happening!! Then again.....I never do!!!

Here is the menu:
Turkey Breast seasoned and cooked in the crockpot
Crockpot dressing
Homemade Cranberry sauce
Homemade Mashed potatoes
gravy
rolls
southern baked macaroni and cheese
7 layer salad
unsweet ice tea
Ice Water (pretty sure I can handle this one.....)

***My mother-in-law will bring the dessert (I am not totally stupid! They are a huge dessert family!! I won't risk messing up the dessert!)

p.s.
This is actually the day after Thanksgiving....I am making 2 things to take to my mom's for Thanksgiving Day!!

emotional day

Today was a day to mark the passing of time.

FIRST

Jeff was the manager of Colco Fine Woods for 3 years. It was his favorite job EVER!! It was his dream job. He loved working with the wood and the woodworkers. Unfortunately, it only paid hourly and did not provide any benefits. After Jeff got his current job, he dreamed of buying Colco! We even looked into it seriously....but could never find a way to make it happen.
Bill, the owner, passed away this summer. Colco is going out of business. EVERYTHING must go!! Bill's son held back a special item for Jeff until Jeff could get back in town. We went to pick it up today. I don't know about Jeff, but being in the store, around his co-workers, around Bill's son and picking up the special item.....made me choke back some tears. Colco was Jeff's favorite job!! It was the best place to work!!

At times, Mr. Bill would sit at the front of the store in this chair. He would wait for customers to greet them as soon as they came in the door. He was in his late 80s.

Jeff said he only wanted the chair if I would let him keep it in the house. I was happy to have it in the living room. It is actually in good shape and very comfortable. I love the history that comes with it!!

SECOND

Back in August, Jeff was driving home in our oldest car and it died. It has been sitting in our second driveway (yes we have 2....long story). We have been using one car which is not a problem since he is gone all the time. The other day, a couple stopped and asked if I wanted to sell that car. I said it did not work. He asked me some questions...I called Jeff.....long story short....

We sold the car today. This car is the car we bought when Jack was born. We needed a car that had seat belts that would WORK and would hold a car seat for a newborn. I remember buying the car brand new off the Saturn lot. I had never had a brand new car...only used. We hardly had any money. We bought the lowest line...no power ANYTHING....We even had the guy take the console out of the middle because that would have been an extra $100. I bet those salespeople talked about us for the longest!! I took a picture of our newborn 8lb baby in the backseat just like the day we bought it....well sort of....

Now I have to mow the driveway where that car had been sitting.......

Clueless

Tonight I dropped off Jack at youth group. Max and I were skipping church since he is sick. I felt bad about missing my class because there is always low attendance and I really like my teacher.

Max and I stopped by the bookstore on the way home to get his next book in the series he is reading. The parking lot was packed. I could not figure out why in the world the book store would be so busy on a Wednesday night but it is a "trendy" bookstore....so I did not think about it too long!!

We went into the store. There was a huge crowd in the middle of the store and I saw people taking pictures. I had no idea who was speaking. I figured it was a book signing but I also figured that I would probably not care WHO the person was.

Max headed to his book area. I headed to mine. I was looking for the latest behavior/education book (I have quite a collection). I heard the speaker on the microphone, but still could not see her. She was speaking on education. I was not paying too much attention because I was reading book jackets and forwards in the books I was interested.

The more I heard her speak....the more I thought "wow! she is smart! I like this lady! She sounds intelligent and like she really knows something about education! I wonder what book she wrote. I wonder if I know her!"
BUT....I hate crowds...and I did not care enough to go look and see who she was.

Max found his books. I chose a book and we went to the checkout. I looked at the door and saw my Wednesday night bible study teacher exiting with a signed book (I wasn't the only one skipping tonight!!). Then I saw several other people from church....and then I saw the picture of the author on the book!!!

I purchased my book and grabbed Max and ran over to the crowd. I made Max stand on the magazine display so he and I could look at the famous author and so I could say....

I SAW CONDOLEEZZA RICE!!! I was 20 feet from her!! I heard her speak (unknowingly!!)
I did not get her book because you had to pre-order to get it signed....if I am not getting it signed, I will wait for paperback!!!

(......and my camera was in the car......dern!)

losing everything

Everyone knows that you lose stuff as you get older. I mean physically.....well you may actually lose STUFF but for this post, I will be speaking about physical, emotional, mental, spiritual, etc....

Recently, I had the privilege of spending some one-on-one time with Jeff's grandmother while she is in the hospital. I have known her for about 18 years. She can be funny, sarcastic, grumpy, stubborn and sometimes downright mean.....

Thursday, she was in some pain and slept most of the day. When she was awake, she was mostly quiet. I started to observe and realize what it must be like to grow old. It is painful, sad and lonely in most ways. You lose hearing, sight, taste, smell and most people lose mental clarity. Your body starts to ache in almost every part. If you are having medical issues then it is even more painful. Your skin is thinning and you bruise or sore easily.

People talk to them as if they are an infant....because FACE IT....they look like they are not all there!!! I know MJ. I know that she is funny and most of the time she is mentally alert. Each nurse came in and talked to her in a high pitch, slow, wide eyes and close to her face as if she were from another country or a baby. I got cracked up at the looks she would give them. I won't tell you what she would say about them or what gestures they would receive as they left the room!!!

By the time you are that old, people don't know who you really are...or were....MJ played basketball before there was dribbling and she played tennis well into her 60s. I think of my own grandma. She hopped train cars, cut school, was on the roller derby team and caused all kinds of trouble as an identical twin. I think of women and men who have fought in wars, raised wonderful kids, invented things, built things, taught school.......or maybe have wonderful or interesting stories to tell....

But when they are lying in the hospital, nursing home, etc.....nobody sees them for those things....they see them as old people who don't know what is going on anymore...

There are some exceptions (mental illnesses) but no matter how distant they seem....I bet their minds have gone back to the special times. The times that meant the most to them.

I wonder what I will be thinking about when I am old and my body is breaking down. I wonder if I will be thinking of the first time I met Jeff and he was chasing Kevin Hipp around a house having a rubber band war and he hid behind a hanging plant......and I thought "what an idiot....but he is cute"
I wonder if I will think about the millions of fun times with my sons? or maybe my grandkids (hopefully all boys)...
I wonder if I will remember the crazy things I would do and say with my best friend Melony?
I wonder if I will think of my first date when I was 15 (you know who you are).....to a school dance driven by his mother with his little sister in the van...
I wonder if I will think about the worst memories...deaths of babies, friends, family...
Or maybe things that have not even happened yet (hopefully winning money)...

It was hard to watch MJ while she was in pain the other day. I don't want to be that way. I don't want to get old. I don't want my body to shut down on me. I want to see my family grow around me...but if my body starts to fail and it can't be repaired....then I PRAY that the Lord will take me home!!!!

Just in case that prayer does not get answered...like my "give me money" prayer, and my "make the baby quit crying" prayer and my "let this be the last ear surgery" prayer....

I will tell all my readers exactly what I have told Jeff:

If I am ever in a state where I can not communicate (non-verbal, vegetative, coma), DO NOT cover me up!! I would rather be cold than hot!!!
 DO NOT rub on my arm or stroke my hair or pat my shoulder! That irritates the crap out of me!!! .......however, if you think these things would irritate me so much it would bring me out of the coma...then do it....

a whole new level of friendship???

I came within a millimeter of slapping Max's ENT doctor today! My hand was hovering over his leg and I brushed his pant leg but did not follow through with the pain..............

Here is what happened...

We went for Max's 1 week checkup (after his 9th ear surgery in case I have new readers) and everything was going as normal.

 Dr. Chanin came in the office and greeted Max in his own creative way....He is great!!

He saw Jack in the corner and picked on him a little.....Jack picked back by asking him about the electric chair (Chanin has moved into new office space with older stuff).....I showed Chanin how Jack and I played around while waiting on him to come....and waiting on Max to get his hearing test:

Chanin knows how crazy we are....he liked it!!

Then Chanin started his talk with Max about how he put the tube in his ear..."I hammered it, screwed it, duct taped it.."

STOP RIGHT THERE...I said

"I want you to look at it before you say all that because I can see it and I'm not sure I am supposed to see the tube unless my bifocals are super special."

Chanin rolled his eyes, stopped talking and got out his instrument...."ok, ok."

He looks in Max's right ear (the surgery ear). He looks in Max's left ear (non-surgery ear). He says, "I don't see anything."

"oh, good." I say....as I am holding my head. I have had a nagging headache for 3 days straight and the fluorescent lights in the waiting room made my migraine worse and I was starting to get nauseous. 

"NO!" he says "....I mean, it is gone....the tube is gone..."

"WHAT???" I sat up so fast from my slouched position that I felt flushed and sparkly....(meaning tingly like I might pass out)....

Chanin: "It isn't there." He drops his shoulders and rolls backwards on the rolling stool. He looks so defeated.......he is so cute like a muppet (I hope he doesn't read this blog).

I am sure my eyes are bugged out......oh and by the way it is a Tornado Watch day here in Memphis and my hair is cut short so just imagine Little Orphan Annie Fro Hair and pale face from migraine....Halloween came early today!!

Then he made a motion to the left ear.......I made a muffled screech...."not that ear!".....you didn't put a tube IN THAT EAR....." I  started getting louder.

I grabbed my heart. He grabbed his heart. 

Chanin: "Oh! I forgot, I did not look at my notes....the right ear looks fine! The tube is where it should be but I did not see a tube in the left and it worried me. You said you could see it. I thought you meant from where you sat...."

I leaned over to smack him.....forgetting that you can't just smack any man for being an idiot.....Jeff HAS been gone since September.....

As I said before..... I stopped in time but I did brush his pant leg with my hand.....I think I scared him....He rolled away from me on his rolling stool....

I laughed....He did too, but it did not sound quite like my laugh....I think he was nervous!!

I am not sure if Dr. Chanin is a christian but I bet he keeps Jeff in some sort of prayers!!!

best plans.....blah blah blah....

alright....some of you may or may not have noticed that I was "off the grid" for a few days.....

I had some security issues on face book......not sure if I patched it but OH WELL.....

Let me tell you what I did! I sat there for 2 hours and deleted every single comment, post, etc off my page for a year and half....until my page said "Margaret has no recent posts"...

I was relieved. I thought "well if I do put it back where people can see my wall...it will be like starting over..."

Guess what!!??!!! When I checked the box that people could write on my wall and see my wall...

EVERYTHING REAPPEARED!!!!

It was like a FB horror movie!! so it is true....once you post it on FB, it is there forever!!!

Oh, well!!....... My advice to everyone.....be careful what you post! don't tell when you leave, if you are going out of town (listen up you disney people!!) and if you have a traveling husband.....ahem......

so I will be keeping my comments to a...........well.........creatively short

now, for your entertainment.....
Max's Halloween pumpkin 2010

what is going on??

New sleep schedule, new aches, new thoughts/worries.....

Is this what others call midlife crisis or is this when the cavemen sent the women to live by themselves in the woods???

I have moved into a new "phase of life" and I only turned 37.....I know people my age that are still having babies and I am thinking of college for my kids and new shampoo for my graying hair and possibilities for me if my health goes soon....(I am a pessimist)!!!

I started sewing again and I can't move my right shoulder and right side of my neck at night. When I am sewing (by hand) and the boys ask me to look up, it takes a couple of minutes for my eyes to adjust....I am completely blind for a while!!

I fall asleep at 8pm if I am sitting down and I wake up every night around 3AM...

My priorities are changing and I am playing around with some new ideas for my future....our future.....I may or may not share later in my blog.....

I pray every day that I will glorify God in what I do....but last Sunday, a lady said something so simple yet so DUH!!! to me.....and now my prayer has changed...

Lord, I pray that I will glorify you in everything I do....show me how...AND.....show me how to enjoy being here and living this life that you created me to live!

God DID create us in a specific way. He has given us commandments, personalities, gifts.....and it is all to be enjoyed. YES, it will be hard because we live in a sinful, broken world.....but I try so hard to do the right thing that I forget that it can be joyful!!!

just my thoughts
maz

Is This Normal? and I am so comfortable with that!

See my ring finger? It won't go straight. It is the injury from my previous post about the grass surfing on mud island....anyway, occasionally it will look normal but it is numb or has the feeling of hornets. I already have an appointment to see my doc on Nov. 3.  So I am just going to wait until then to see what is wrong. I did treat myself to an obnoxious splint yesterday for my birthday!! I had to spend a whole $5!! It is ridiculous but my finger feels much better AND warmer!!

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I was watching another episode of The Middle. The parents were trying to get "ahead of the game" at the beginning of the school year. Being prepared backfired for them and made things worse. The parents were out by their patched-up-above ground pool talking. Here is a great quote "there are in-ground pool kind of people but we are above-ground pool kind of people".  I thought about it and I guess literally we are a slip-n-slide kind of people.  I am trying to find out how to apply that to our life.......I am looking at Jack's cast, my finger, Max facing his 9th surgery, and the knowledge that Jeff is out of town...working 16-20 hour days and sick as a dog-doped-up-on-dayquil right now....SO YEP!! We are a slip-n-slide kind of family!

****

I am totally embracing my "quirky" side and I am so comfortable with that!! I guess it will be up to MY FRIENDS and husband to let me know when it is time for medication. (notice I left out family....they would tell me it is time now!)

My quirky expressed in my latest creations:

CLASSIC MAZ IN STITCHES

I have no clue what this is

I have no clue what this is

these are "stuffy heads"...you put sewing needles and pins in their heads

no idea, but they are soft!

little monster girl on bag

...and craziest of all....my tie hair band! It is huge and obnoxious but it was my favorite tie that Jeff wore in college! (probably given to him by an old girlfriend....but that is fine!!) It also reminds me of his uncle Caroll Cloar's painting "Hostile Butterflies" (no, there aren't any butterflies on the tie....that is just how my brain works)....told ya QUIRKY