Last words

This weekend was my last Kidmission Festival.  I want to end this season in my life by sharing some of my favorite quotes from the kids:

A boy was off by himself and Jeff was trying to encourage him to participate in the activities.
Jeff: "Have you had a chance to go look at some of the countries? There is Russia, Jordan..."
Boy: "Is that what they named the shoes after?"
Jeff: "They named the shoes after Michael Jordan, the basketball player."
Boy: "They named the country after the basketball player?"

I was talking to a 9 year old girl about the different food they eat in Japan. Our guest missionary from Japan shared several pictures of "different" food.
Me: "Would you eat some of the food we saw...like the different flavored fish poop?"
Girl: she thought for a few seconds
"If it was fried...."
She smiles with delight and puts her hand on my arm.
"Hhmm. Mmm. I'll eat anything fried!"

I am passing out cookies to the kids. One little girl takes the cookie and says:
"I'm allergic to this."
Me: "well, throw it away."
Girl crams the entire cookie in her mouth and takes another one.
I have a minor heartattack.
"DON'T EAT IT IF YOU ARE ALLERGIC!"
Girl: mouth full "oh! It's a sugar cookie. I'll be ok."
I snatched her other cookie from her fingers and watched her the rest of the time with bugged eyes.

I'm telling a young boy for the 60th time to sit in a seat. I use my firm and threatening MOM voice "don't get up again". He looks into my eyes for a few seconds.
Boy: "ooo kay" shakes his pointer finger at me "I remember you. You are here a lot. You don't like kids to run around."
He sits down with a smile on his face like he is thinking
"Crazy old lady"
But he quit running around the stage so....whatever!

Classic MAZ takes over the world

I love my new job!

Many have asked "what do you do?"....
I will let the following video tell you:

(by the way, I am not the one in the wheel!)

So now that is cleared up...

Strange things that I have begun to do.....

I, just this afternoon, stood in line at Target to purchase 3 alarm clocks. The lady asked if I needed a gift receipt. 

I did not. 

It was for all the males in my house.....but I spent several seconds feeling sorry for the imaginary person that would be receiving the alarm clocks as a gift.

I have become very aware that my insides chirp, growl, moan, hiss, and make various small animal and light saber noises.

Why?

Well, because I am in a quiet room all day with one other person within arms length. I am very aware of the "star wars" going on within my body. I am not necessarily hungry, belchy or gassy....but you wouldn't know it by listening to my noises for 10 hours!

I have started to lose my mind...

I took Max and his friend to a church function the other night. Half way to the church, I checked my pants pockets and the car seat...I had forgotten my phone.

This was a problem because I was stopping by the store on the way back home and might need to call Jeff about the grocery list.

I drop the kids off and I am running the list through my brain so I won't forget to buy anything...

Suddenly, my abdomen starts buzzing....what the heck? I thought maybe I was having a mini stroke that was originating in my stomach...

I patted the area.....

OHHHH! ha ha ha

I had on a sweater with a pocket pouch in the front!

My cell was in THAT pocket!!

Valentine's Day for Classic MAZ

My earliest memory of Valentine's Day is maybe around 2nd grade. I remember spreading out all the cards in front of me and spending way too much worry and time trying to figure out which classmate got which card.

There were several kids in my class that I did not want to give a Valentine.
(sing song whiny voice)

"BUT WE HAVE TO GIVE TO EVERYONE SO NOBODY IS LEFT OUT"

Really? Well maybe if we could leave out the booger picker or the bully....they might get the hint that they aren't loveable!

I would have given those kids something like the above Valentine...meaning "i got my eye on you" because you are weird and I don't want a booger flicked on me!

I also remember asking for and getting the Conversation Heart Candy every year. I remember squeezing my eyes shut and asking the sugar heart gods "does (insert that week's boy crush) like me?"
I reach in and pull out the heart that would tell me the future, tell me the truth.


"not likely"

Look for a new boy to like!


When I was in Junior High
(we did not call it middle school and it was 7th - 9th grade...the way it should be!)
They sold carnations to raise money for.....
something...
anyway, On Valentine's Day, if you got a white one: friends!
If you got a yellow one: secret admirer!
If you got a pink one: like!
If you got a red one: love!

AND HECK..we were what...13...so it had to be the real thing!

I never got one.

AND I am highly suspicious that the girls that got handfuls...bought them for themselves.
I have since taught teen boys and have two of my own.
There are very few boys that are going to be willing to buy a flower and give it for all to know...to a girl they like, or are interested in liking!


I have never cared for flowers and chocolate or jewelry.

I knew I would find the perfect guy when I received a Valentine that held my "everlasting love"..

MCDONALD'S BUGERS!!!

Or Jeff!!

 I love him as much as a Quarter Pounder meal!!

AND THAT IS A LOT OF LOVE!!!!

I know what I see..what do you see?

When I walk into or out of a room, life goes into slow motion, a wind blows through my hair, and life is drowned out by the loud awesome theme music that follows me....mostly White Stripes music.

You all know what I am talking about..you have seen it on movies...when the tough guy is about to head into a fight..

I am so awesome, I experience this every day. My face is set in a "don't mess with me" expression and I glide in and out of my life's scenes.

AT LEAST I THOUGHT THAT IS WHAT I LOOK LIKE!

This past week has left me so tired that my grandiose vision was impaired.

I DID NOT move slow, graceful, and impressive down the hall.

I shockingly caught myself waddling from side to side, slumped in exhaustion, with my eyes ready to close in sleep and I heard the "quacking" squeeks of my shoes.

I don't know how you people live in your world. I can't wait until I am back to commanding the room like Uma Thurman...and Daft Punk plays for all to hear.

You don't follow me on facebook? Then you have missed some adventure!

I almost didn't write this post because I have been updating on facebook...

BUT then I remembered my readers that DO NOT read facebook...

Two weeks ago (on Friday) Jack was given Septra for an ingrown toenail. It is an antibiotic of the Sulfa drugs.

For a whole week (while he took and finished the 7 day Septra) Jack had 104 fever, non-stop vomiting and developed a rash. The doctor said it was a "flu-like" virus.

Saturday ( a week later) I took Jack to the doctor office but saw a different doctor (the one we like). He took one look at Jack and sent us straight to LeBonheur Children's Hospital ER.

The ER triage nurse knew immediately that he was having a severe drug reaction.

The ER doctor said "this is not good".  He admitted Jack and we stayed two nights.

The rash was "like a burn".  Jack was burning from the inside out and he FELT IT!!!

 

He held the popsicle in his mouth "to cool off"!

click on the pics for a better view 

He reminded me of one of my favorite children's book....Put Me In The Zoo

 I actually felt like I was in a zoo in Jack's room! They have a viewing window. I thought about running up to the glass and hitting it like the zoo apes....

The way the closed curtain was positioned (while sleeping at night) I could STILL see the window, the nurses....and they could see me....creepy!

The Septra damaged Jack's liver. His liver enzymes should be 25 to 50. They started at 1430 and went down to 990. It will take awhile to recover but we are thankful the damage is not permanent!

Because of the damage, the liver did not process the tylenol that was given to him to lower his fever.

His blood count was a 1.7 (I think it is supposed to be 5?).

His sodium was really low and they were monitoring his skin. There was a possibility that it would sloth off (like a burn). Thankfully it did not!

Jack was also extremely dehydrated. He had an IV for 2 days......a lot of bags!

The doctors did a bunch of tests to monitor and check for other issues.

When we went to have an ultrasound, the transporter parked Jack (and his wheelchair) under this piece of art:

A Jackass and the definition! HILARIOUS for a children's hospital...and perfect for Jack!

(click on the pic and look close!)

We had many friends and family come visit us in the hospital! We have received loving cards, and yummy meals!

We have been told that this was VERY SERIOUS and Jack's body took a hard hit! We are thankful that things were not worse!

I knew Jack would be fine when the hospital advocate gave him this get well card. After the man left, Jack slowly picked up the card, came out of his "zombie state", and said

"he did not put money in the flap"

I want to thank everyone for their thoughts, prayers, love and help! We are rich and happy!

Jack goes February 10th to see a Hepatologist. I call her the Liver Lady. She will care for Jack and his liver!

He is to drink plenty of water!

and no medications for awhile! Mr. Liver needs a rest!