Monday, March 12, 2012

Keeping BIG things hidden


Over the years, I have experienced many stories that would make a great blog BUT a close friend or relative was involved so even if I changed names and places, it still would have offended somebody.

My boys provide me with material everyday but they are teens now....and respectful...therefore I will be respectful....

Now that I am working, I have GREAT stories to share...
But, again, you never know who reads this blog so I have to keep most of the funny stuff to myself.

I am about to explode with BIG, funny observations and stories...AHHHHHHH!


Since I am being nice to my peeps.....

I am left with telling you about a Target dressing room experience......


If you have followed my blog for more than two years, then you know that I lose AND FIND the same 40 pounds year after year after year.

This winter I found it.....and this spring/summer I will try to lose it........again!

I needed a new shirt a couple of weeks ago and decided to torture myself and try on clothes.
There is a size that I refuse to buy so I try on the biggest size that I can stand to take into the dressing room...

I am not great at estimation....hated "learning" the concept in school AND hate teaching it. Never have found a use for it.....until maybe this day..

I tried to put the shirt on normal...overhead, then arms through sleeves.

didn't work

I then tried raising my arms straight above my head and letting the shirt slide down my arms and onto my head...

didn't quite work...but after a snake dance...I got it on!!

I looked in the mirror and was horrified!

The cute shirt was stretched over a couple of swimming inner tubes. I apparently was unaware of acquiring them.

By this time I had worked up some humidity in the tiny dressing room.
My hair was frizzy and huge.
I was huge.
The shirt was small...

After weeping on the inside, I decide to NOT get the stupid ugly shirt that couldn't do it's job and keep big things hidden!!

I worked on getting that shirt off for about 20  minutes.
I was about to call for emergency assistance when....

the act of standing on my hands and head and kicking my feet in the air like a donkey...

released the shirt

I got some strange looks when I burst out of the fitting room....
hair wild, eyes wild, and jeans unzipped.....I would find that out after walking to the front and out into the parking lot...








5 comments:

  1. TRuLY I am ROFLOL!! thanks for the little video that has run through my head as I read this.....bahahahahahahaha and to infinity! anonymously , your mother.....

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  2. I can always count on you to give me a great laugh. I have been in the same situation more than once and enjoyed knowing that I am not alone. I too am literally ROFLOL!!
    Alma

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  3. btdt...makes this even more hilarious because I know EXACTLYl what that looks and feels like.

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  4. LMAO! Oh my god....are you sure you aren't writing about my dressing room experiences? You are too funny!!! hahahahaha!

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  5. Ok I obviously missed this the first time around. You should have been a fly on the wall when I was shopping with Scott Sevier. I was trying something on in the dressing room and he was waiting in the store. I couldn't get it unzipped. I nearly had to rip the thing to get it unzipped so Scott wouldn't be waiting long. Needless to say once I got out of that thing I never went back into that store or shopping with Scott again.

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