All I have.....All I can give

With this stupid allergy/sinus cold and Max's surgery and Jack's cold and Jeff's job.....well LIFE....I have not been sleeping well..........

..........well, what do you do when you don't sleep well??? I tend to over think things, dramatize things in my mind....rearrange my life....make plans.....etc

Have you ever noticed how at night when things are quiet....everything in life is so magnified???!!!

The other night I was staring into the darkness and listening to the night noises. I started thinking about how I have a wonderful family, great friends, great church and pretty good life and yet......I can't count on one person to not hurt my feelings, not let me down, be perfect, not be odd, not be crazy, be normal....etc....

I further realized that no matter how hard I try, at some point...or many times...or always...my boys will think I am crazy, weird, odd, unreliable, etc....I will disappoint them, I will embarrass them, I will annoy them, I will be different from them...

AND they will be different from each other....they will be crazy to each other....they will annoy each other...they will let each other down...they will disappoint each other....they will hurt each other!!

I can not give them stability, complete love, complete comfort, complete safety, complete acceptance, complete approval, I will not be able to give them exactly what they need!


Jesus is all I have.

Jesus is all I have to give my sons.

WHEW! That takes such a load off of me as a mother!

I can teach them about Jesus, lead them to HIS word, be an example, show them how to study their Bibles.......but I don't have to worry if I am meeting all their needs....I CAN'T.....zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz night night