understanding ADD through croquet

I realized Max had problems with focusing, control and auditory processing when he was in 1st grade. I have tried to understand why he cries at the smallest things (pitiful silent cries not tantrums) and why he seems to be in another world or "unaware" at times. Why can he not follow 2 step directions?? Why is he so smart and yet things seem so hard for him?? I know from my education "why" but this is my baby and I wanted to understand HOW he feels and WHAT he is going through.

This weekend we had fabulous weather so we set up croquet in the back yard. Jack's game is to come after the balls of others and knock them totally off the court. My game is to beat the pants off my boys. Max is always in competition with Jack so I was amazed at his strategy. Max would knock the crap out of the ball and totally miss his mark. At first I thought he was being silly. THEN I saw his face. He was truly distraught that he wasn't getting anywhere and he was behind. So I began to study him (while I beat the pants off Jack). Max would look at the mark, look at his ball and "pow" slam the mallet into the ball. He could not coordinate the mallet to drive the ball in the correct direction. He tried so hard. THEN he would barely hit the ball and scoop it. He would look at me and without a whine or fit he would simply say "I did not mean to cheat. I did not mean to scoop it." I told him it was fine. THEN "wham" he would knock it crazy again. I showed him how the mallet steered the direction of the ball and it was important to make the mallet hit the ball straight. He tried. He tried to hide his teary eyes. He would smile and patiently go to his ball WAY off course each turn. The frustration set in and then he could not correct it. He was frustrated, embarrassed and sad. AND he did not want us to know. He tried to dance, crack jokes, anything to distract from his true feelings. My heart broke. I realized this must be what he goes through each day when he spills his drink at every breakfast, drops a plate of food at least one meal a day. Gets fussed at for food all over his face and clothes each day. Gets fussed at for not "listening" when told to do something (more than one something). His day starts early and spirals downward everyday. What chokes me up is that he has the sweetest, happiest personality. He does not complain, make excuses or throw fits. His crying over silly things must be when the straw has broken the camels back and he can't control his emotion. I have a broken heart for what he must go through and how he feels he needs to hide what he truly feels. Who knew that a game of croquet could open a window into my son's daily struggles.