It is oozing everywhere

Jack oozes sarcasm 24 hours a day!

Here are samples of what I HAVE to read...every....day....


Student: Jack
Journal: How can you improve your physical fitness and health?

My fingers are a little weak, so I will need to exercise them. To improve my fingers' and thumbs' physical fitness, I will need to play Minecraft, MW3, and BF3. When exercising with such extreme workouts, you must be careful not to pull a ligament in your fingers or thumbs. Also, be careful not to strain your thumb muscle. If it gets to be too much, then take a break. 
In order to improve my health, food wise, I need to eat more Taco Bell. Taco Bell has foods from the food pyramid. They have lettuce, tomato, onion, and potato for vegetables. They have ground beef, steak, chicken, and sometimes, shrimp for meats. For grains, they have chips, rice, and tortilla. In all, Taco Bell is good for you.


Student: Jack
Journal: Have you ever watched a plant grow?

No, I have not watched a plant grow. Would I like to watch a plant grow? Why yes, I would love to sit and stare at the ground for hours on end. I hope I can control my excitement while I wait for a tiny green thing to pop out of the ground. Sadly, I don't have the time. As soon as I have at least no plans for three days, I'll be outside, on a lawn chair, in my snuggie, waiting.


Student: Jack
Journal: What are the advantages and disadvantages to having a pet rock? (2 separate entries)

Having a pet rock has its advantages. Pet rocks are really inexpensive. Pet rocks know some really amazing tricks like holding their breath under water forever. Pet rocks also never die! Pet rocks have at least two babies every time you hit one with a hammer! Pet rocks don't make messes, poop, pee, eat, or drink. Pet rocks also come in many different kinds! Pet bolder rocks are good guard rocks. Pet gravel rocks are grumpy and rough, but fun to watch. Pet pebble rocks make good lap rocks and they love skipping across water. Pet rocks are wonderful pets!


I previously wrote about advantages to having a pet rock, but there are some disadvantages. A disadvantage to having a pet rock is you have to move them. Pet rocks don't have legs, fins, wings, or belly muscles. A disadvantage to having a pet bolder rock is that they are hard to move and they are not an indoors rock. Pet gravel rocks hurt when you sit on them or walk on them barefoot. Pet pebble rocks can be lost easy. They are also easy to swallow. One more thing, make sure your pet rock is domesticated. If your pet rock is not domesticated, it could prove deadly for you and your family.

I would love to share Jack's history paper on:
China
A person in the the Han Dynasty

It is a long, short story.
It contained the historical facts.
The main character was Chingchangchow Pow Dhindiggdy Shizzlemewizzle Shefuh Shane "but you can call me Shane".


I know exactly where Jack would spend most of his time in REAL school.
...in trouble