Brace yourself....

I am so tired it is ridiculous! I feel horrible because I am still getting over the flu. I worked 8 hours today at the church doing random things preparing for our annual Kid Mission Festival. So why am I up at 1:40AM???? I have no idea!!! I would love to know how our bodies can be so tired but can't sleep!!

Unfortunately, you my loyal readers....or random ones....will be tortured by the following:

We (Memphis) are having stormy, humid weather which causes havoc on my curly, untamable and at the moment short hair. Since I have been sick and in the house, I have sported the Kramer (from Seinfeld) look. However, I thought I would apply extra product to my hair today because I would be around church folk. After walking up and down stairs, sitting in a closet for an hour, crawling around the stairs, etc....I caught a glimpse of my reflection in a mirror. I looked like the Heat Miser dude on the Christmas special.

There was nothing I could do. I would look like that through church dinner and a meeting later that night.

As I was stringing lights down a forty thousand foot stairway, I got in a conversation with a security guard. He is really nice and friendly. We actually have the same conversation about every 3 months. I guess that is about how often I change my hair and he must think I am a new person. He likes to talk about the raccoons, fox, rats and such that we have IN the city. He always tells me to be sure and NOT eat the raccoons in the city. "They are nasty. They are not the same as country raccoons." 

The first time he told me this he was not facing me and he could not see the horror on my face. I realized he was not kidding. He eats these things. I know people do.....but......you don't have to tell ME not to eat my city raccoons!!!

Later this evening, in the meeting that I mentioned earlier......I was exhausted....feeling almost faint.....thought I might not make it to the end of the meeting. The leader was explaining that our children would be writing letters about the mission trip they would be taking. I realized that I had not heard a word he had been saying. I had been concentrating staying upright in my chair. I wondered if the leader would let the children know what "content" they wanted in the letter. I raised my hand. I wanted to come across polite and well educated. But what came out was.........

Me, slouched in my seat...my raised hand propped on Jeff's shoulder....zombie-like stare.....

"um...you...might...have...said....but....will...you...teach...how....to....write.....letter...."

Jeff and I are seated in the back, my son and his friends are across the room and his friends start to giggle.

A good friend of mine...we won't name names...we will call him "JOHN"...he is sitting in the front...he turns around and lovingly makes fun of me so the whole room....all parents and 7th/8th grade kids can see him mimicking how to write a letter......

MAZ.....you.....teach....my.....son.....write......letter.......HEE HAW......